A Fine Parent

“I’m sure I never had homework at that age,” my husband mutters under his breath after I tell my son I expect him to add more details to his paragraph.

I give my husband ‘the look’ and he returns to buttering his toast.

After much cajoling and persuasion, my son finally completes his writing assignment and I send him out to play.

Hands on my hips, I turn to my husband, “What kind of message are you sending to our son when you complain about homework in front of him?”

“An eight-year-old should be out playing,” my husband argues.

“I agree,” I say, “but he also needs to know that school comes first.”

He returns to buttering his toast.

Variations of this conversation have played out many times in our house since my son first started school.

As a former elementary school teacher I know how important it is to have high expectations for children. Children will not automatically choose to practice piano or do their homework over playing Minecraft (at least mine won’t).

I know a bit of pushing of is required, but how can we do this effectively and not turn our children off to learning completely? And how do we get them to achieve without pushing them up from behind?

How can I be supportive without being a Tiger Mom – that mom that drives kids to the brink searching for perfection?

Faced with my own questions about Tiger Moms, I turned to Amy Chua’s memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

My first reaction was guilt. Maybe I should be pushing my children more? Will they fall behind their counterparts from around the world if I don’t make them work harder?

Then, I had a flashback of competing in a piano competition when I was 12-years-old. Feelings of inadequacy flooded back when I remembered 9-year-old children performing pieces that required far more dexterity than I had at 12.

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For some kids, heading back to school is something to look forward to – the excitement of seeing their friends again, the anticipation of playing on sports teams, and the intrigue of meeting the new teacher. These kids are planning their first-day-of-school outfits and chattering about resuming favorite recess activities.

For some of the other children, the thought of the new school year on the horizon brings not eager enthusiasm but anxiety. And for anxious little ones who are just starting school, the anxiety is even worse: what to expect?

Most kids though will likely feel a little bit of both – excitement on one day, anxiety the next.

How do we help our kids in that second and third category get over the dread of heading back to school? 

Creative activities are a great way to help relieve feelings of stress. Below you will find arts and crafts that are specifically geared towards helping kids get over their back-to-school anxiety. Whether you have a little one just starting school or an older kid returning to school, we’ve got you covered. 

Here take a look –

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I met a special girl the other day. Her name is Violet and she is 6.

Violet’s age and diminutive size wouldn’t mark her a leader, but her future undoubtedly includes some leadership—and she will excel at it.

She wasn’t telling people where to go or how to do things. She wasn’t pushy or loud, either.

Violet simply sat there with her mom and pointed out all the things she liked about the people around her. “I like your bag!” she told the older lady next to her. To me—“I love your blue hair!”

Everyone Violet spoke to – which was anyone near her – went away smiling. Her “soft” leadership skill of finding and calling out the best in others will take this little one far if her mother continues to encourage it.

I have read at least 50 books in the past three years on the subject of leadership. It comes with the territory of pursuing a doctorate on the subject. Yet the most important aspect of what I’m studying might not be addressed at all—how do we train tomorrow’s leaders—our kids?

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Life seems to get busier and more stressful by the day.

Sometimes, days go by and you realize you haven’t had a chance to sit down and chat and connect with your child in a meaningful way.

Mornings are a rush to get to school, carpooling involves a van full of friends teasing or bickering or lost on their devices, weekends are full of extracurriculars, evenings mean homework, and dinners, while often the best time for connecting, more frequently devolve into complaints about the food and cajoling one more bite.

How do we slow things down, even for an hour?

One answer is to intentionally incorporate creative activities for children into your schedule through simple art projects.

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“Mommy! Why can I not open my eyes when I look at the sun?

Why do I always have to sleep early, when you can stay up late?

Momma, why does the water not flow up the mountain ever?

Doesn’t the moon hate the sun for hiding it in the daytime?

Why is my hair straight and Dad’s curly?

Why can I not fly like the birds?”

Have you also had your share of the endless questions with limited unsatisfactory answers for your little ones? Did you ever think of hiding behind the couch like me seeing your little one in a questioning mode?

It’s payback time! But don’t worry! I’ll make sure it is fun for everyone!

It’s your turn to put some interesting questions to your kids. Because when you put a thoughtful question to your child, it zaps on her thinking mode automatically. And when young minds think, analyze or introspect, they learn best and grow up to be resourceful adults who can who can think out of the box and survive in any situation.

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