A Fine Parent

Diapers, no sleep, carpool, calls from the school nurse, sports, cooking, yelling, begging, pleading, dating, still no sleep, prom, work, college…

And then all of a sudden – the nest is empty. The world around you is strangely quiet.

Where did all the time go? Where did my babies go? Will they ever come back to me?

While I know that in life there are no guarantees; I also believe we can raise our kids in a way that when they get older there is a good chance they will still love to hang out with us.

My husband and I may have got a few things wrong while raising our kids. We also did a lot right during this time. One of the most important one has been establishing a rock solid foundation for our relationship with all four of them.

Today, I want to share nine things that I truly believe helped us connect with our kids when they were little that have helped us stay close even now when they are grown.

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Racing around the house, tensions are mounting, and the clock in my head is ticking louder and louder.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! We’re late! We’re late!

My underlings continue to amaze me with their expert aptitude for crafting new versions of dawdling. Like a leaky bucket, minutes dribble on the floor behind us.

Sibling conflict is a major culprit today. “Bwuthew isn’t talking to me. He fawted and I towd him to say, ‘excuse me’ and he didn’t ansew.” Two minutes down the drain as his story painstakingly makes its way into words.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Another two minutes pass as I stand there scratching my head. I don’t even know how to answer him, except to say, “Just put your shoes on.”

The later it gets, the less I am able to cope with the fact that I am still wearing pajamas. Every effort to dress is circumvented. “I don’t like that kind of bread!” “Where is my other shoe?” “Can you get down my lunchbox?” “Can you pay me $2 since I took the dog potty and cleaned my room?” “Mom, this ponytail is fuzzy in the back. Can you redo it?”

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Frustration builds alongside foiled efforts. Tension in my body mounts. Their silky faces, clumsily-formed words, squeaky voices, and large, innocent eyes are shamefully inadequate to ward off the volcano preparing to blow.

What happens next is nothing short of a miraculous moment.

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Do you feel your kids need a break from their iPad and other devices that seems to buzz and click all the time?

Do you think their attention span could be better?

British neuroscientist, Susan Greenfield, is one of the many researchers who’s unveiled some frightening and disturbing findings about devices and children’s attention spans. As part of the study UK teachers were surveyed and 91% of teachers believe that children’s attention spans are getting shorter as most children choose to spend time on their devices, rather than reading.

As a busy mom (as are we all), I often don’t prioritize reading time with my kids. As a speech pathologist, I know better and am frequently asking myself to prioritize that special time with my children.

As I was going holiday shopping last year, I saw something absolutely astonishing at the department store. There sitting on the ground among the heaps of clothing shoes and angst-ridden, busy shoppers was a little boy quietly reading! I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was so focused and engrossed in his book, he didn’t even look up to notice my gawkish stares. I quickly pulled my sister over to see, and she was also stunned. I felt like I was watching some extraordinary and rare behavior on the discovery channel. [Read More…]