You know, every parent I know loves good behavior, but hates discipline.
How about you?
Do you love your little angels, but hate the drama and the stress that inevitably bubbles up when they misbehave and you are the one with the unenviable task of setting them straight?
What if we could keep the good behavior, but eliminate the stress and drama associated with discipline?
It’s not a wild-eyed fantasy or a pipe dream. If you are a part of our A Fine Parent Community for long enough, you know we’re all about research-backed, practical action-taking.
What say, we apply that same spirit to discipline?
Feel up for a little challenge?
Introducing Project: Discipline Without Drama
See, every year the 2nd Sunday of May is celebrated as Mother’s Day. There are some cute gifts from the kids and… that’s about it. After the sweet moment has passed, they go back to their antics, and we get back to nagging and screaming, or quietly seething.
Exactly 5 weeks down the line, on the 3rd Sunday of June, comes Father’s Day. Again we have a few cute gifts and then, it’s back to square one.
Two days that are sweet and cute for a few moments, and then… business as usual.
What say we nix that and make Mother’s Day and Father’s Day of this year unforgettable?
What say we take on a little community challenge during the 5-Week period between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, that will keep on giving dividends all through the year, or for a lifetime for that matter?
Putting aside those cute little gifts your kids give you, as a mom or dad, what is the ONE gift you would truly love to have?
How about kids that just behave?
How about kids that mind what you say without whining, attitude, drama or back talk?
How about getting things done without having to nag, scream or use harsh punishment?
What if we could set the wheels turning on all that, and more, in those 5 little weeks between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day?
Would that make this year’s Mother’s/Father’s day unforgettable for you?
It’s Time For Our First Community Challenge!
In the past 7 months, this A Fine Parent Community has grown to 2,500+ parents strong. I’m not talking about the 35,000+ visitors who have stopped by to browse the site, or the 30,000+ parents who’ve liked our facebook page… I like all of them too, but my commitment is to you — the parents who have signed up to be a part of this slow and steady journey and return here more or less each week to skim/read the little doses of inspiration, nudge, knowledge and insights.
Together we’ve looked at several different ways to grow as parents.
And, together we have struggled to put some of it into action — with the biggest hurdle being issues related to “discipline”.
I know, because you’ve written to me to tell me very emotionally how you start out with great intention, but get caught up in the situation and revert back to your old ways. And how that frustrates you!
I know, because I am you and I do it too.
I’ve been wondering — How can we make sure that what we read is a part of how we act? How can we incorporate our knowledge in our lives so it becomes automatic action? How… ???
It took me a while, but I may have the answer. How about a series of micro-challenges aimed at creating a few of the habits that make scream-free, nag-free, stress-free discipline second nature in our lives?
We’ll keep each micro-challenge intentionally very simple so it can fit into our schedules, no matter what crazy things we’re juggling at the moment.
Each micro-challenge will last just 3 or 4 days, and then we’ll move on to the next. We could take on one every Monday and Thursday between May 11th (Mother’s Day) and June 15th (Father’s Day)…. for a total of 10 micro-challenges.
Each micro-challenge will focus on just ONE micro-change.
Each micro-challenge will establish ONE habit of drama-free discipline.
Each micro-challenge will be hand-picked from one of the top parenting/psychology books.
Small changes, huge returns.
Sounds like something that might work, right?
Are you in?
There are no rules.
Here are a couple of suggestions, though…
- Take on the challenge with an accountability partner, if possible. Research has consistently shown that having an accountability partner improves the chances of success at any change effort — so buddy up with your spouse, best friend, colleague or that great parent you met at the PTA meeting!
- Stick through till the end, no matter how you fare at each intermediate micro-challenge. Some micro-challenges, you’ll do great on. At other times, life will interfere. That’s OK. No matter how you do on any intermediate micro-challenge, when you receive the mail with the next micro-challenge, open it, and give it your best shot!
Challenge-wise, that’s it.
If you receive the AFineParent weekly emails already, you’re all set.
Just sit tight and watch out for the first micro-challenge in your mailbox a week from now… on Monday May 12th, the day after Mother’s Day.
(If you aren’t signed up for the weekly mails, please sign up here. The way the challenge posts are set up, they are only sent by mail and will not show in RSS feeds or the blog homepage.)
Now, If You Have a Few More Minutes to Spare, I Need Your Help…
A few years back, I didn’t know something called positive parenting or positive discipline existed. I had no idea that it was even possible to raise a child without nagging, screaming or punishment.
Things are very different in our home now. Not only is there a lot less drama and stress, I have such a deeply satisfying, happy relationship with my daughter. And instead of being a perpetual rebel, she is directing her energy into blossoming in so many wonderful ways — I couldn’t ask for more as a parent.
I believe it is possible for every single one of us to be that parent that we all want to be deep within our hearts – caring, nurturing, patient and infinitely supportive. Without it feeling like an obligation or a source of stress. Just purely second nature.
So, I’ve set a crazy goal.
I want to reach 10,000 families with this challenge.
A little crazy, I know. But worth striving for, don’t you think?
Can you imagine how blissful it will be, if not just you, but your closest friends and family who have the biggest influence on you (and your kids!), are committed to stress-free discipline as well? Can you imagine how much easier it would be raising your kids when you’re surrounded by such like-minded parents?
I can’t reach all those parents by myself, though. Which is why, I need your help. If we can each reach out to a few of the parents we know, then with 2,500+ of us in this community now, surely, together we can reach 10,000 parents close to us?
So, start with those closest to you. Every one of us knows at least a few parents who struggle with discipline, and can use the gentle nudge and support from this community to get to a more stress-free place — invite them to take this challenge with you!
I’ve put together a page specifically for someone new to our community to understand what this challenge is about. It’s at the easy-to-remember URL AFineParent.Com/DisciplineWithoutDrama — mention it to your friends and family in your regular everyday conversations.
Or, grab your phone and text them about it – the shortened url for the challenge page is bit.ly/1mJakY2
Or use one of these links to spread the word -
Or share this viral tribute to moms on your facebook timeline, while at the same time inviting them to join the challenge!
And if you blog, announce to the world that you are taking on this challenge and charter your progress…
Shout it out from rooftops. No, just kidding. (Not really).
Anything you can do to get the word out helps. THANK YOU!
I’ve put a lot of effort into planning and putting together the videos (yep, a first — it was a big hurdle to cross, so please be kind if you notice the tremor in my voice! :)) for this challenge. I’m totally stoked about this. Let’s do it!
Here’s to scream-free, nag-free, stress-free, punishment-free us…