Strong-willed.
Stubborn.
Single-minded.
Obsessed.
Every teacher and care-giver my son encountered described him this way. Each conference, parent-night, or office visit began with me explaining his wit and ended with unsolicited advice from them on how to make him more compliant.
Many acted as if they offered me new information. As if I hadn’t spent any time with this child.
This child. This strong-willed, stubborn little guy is my moon and stars. The love of my life.
Each of us, if we’re lucky, has a moment when our hearts crack open, pours out in front of our eyes to become our own living, breathing, light. To be told that my light had faulty wiring split me down the middle. The ache I felt hearing these words can’t be described.
Being a new parent, I started to doubt my abilities.
I wondered if trusting myself and my connection with my son was enough to raise a solid young man. I worried constantly. I braced myself each time I walked through the doors to pick him up from school. Seeing his teachers waiting by the front desk filled me with dread.