A Fine Parent

A Life Skills Blog Exclusively For Parents

About Holly Scudero

Holly Scudero is a solo mother of two currently living in northern Texas. She's a strong believer in attachment and gentle parenting techniques. Her other passions include reading, writing, cooking/baking, yoga, and gaming of every type. You can find links to her other writing at her personal blog, Cantrips and Chamomile.

How to Cultivate Authentic Gratitude in Your Kids

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

Gratitude_Main Image_24864884In our house, Christmas is a work in progress, as far as gratitude goes.

Last year we celebrated with just our small, immediate family. And thankfully (or maybe not), there were not a ton of presents underneath our tree. Most of them were either for our older son or for the entire family, so we let him have the pleasure of opening them.

Not surprisingly, we found ourselves repeating a refrain familiar to parents everywhere during the holidays and at birthday parties:

Slow down!

Take time to look at it!

This is not a race!

What we really meant, of course, is that we want our kids to actually appreciate the gifts they’re given. Birthdays and holidays should be more than just a flurry of presents and torn wrapping paper. Everyone likes receiving gifts, but it’s important that we take the time to acknowledge them.

And, more important still, to be thankful for them.

Saying “thank you” is a great start. Maybe give a hug, if both parties feel so inclined. At the least, we want time to mentally note who gave what so that cards can be sent later.

Fact is, we know that our children appreciate the gifts they’re given. Just as they appreciate the other important parenting roles we play.

When our kids are babies, of course, we don’t expect gratitude. We’re content to be their whole world—for those first few months, anyway. We don’t expect to be thanked for [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Managing Our Triggers Masterclass” With Dr. Carla Naumburg

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

Some days, I seem to have endless patience with my kids. I can tell them seven times to put on their shoes without rolling my eyes once. I can look at that spilled cup of water and calmly remind them that we all make messes, but we have to clean them up, too. I can take a break from writing every few minutes to read the same book over and over again.

And other days, I’m one thrown toy or one lost sock away from a complete parental meltdown.

But that’s pretty much all of us, right?

In the Managing Our Triggers Masterclass, author and social worker Dr. Carla Naumburg opens up about her book How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids. She helps us to understand why we get triggered so easily some days, how to try to avoid adult meltdowns, and what to do when we realize we have just lost it—or are still mid-meltdown.

I was a researcher for this masterclass and getting the opportunity to read this book and help shape AFineParent’s interview with Dr. Naumburg was quite a blessing. This book is absolutely packed with information that I found relevant in my own life. As a single parent who works outside the home, I definitely have my days where it doesn’t take much to set me off! This masterclass is full of great ideas from Dr. Naumburg’s book that I have already started implementing in my own life.

Wondering what this book—and this masterclass—is all about? Here are three big takeaways to encourage you to give the whole class a go! [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Screen Kids Masterclass” With Arlene Pellicane

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

Is screen time a constant battle in your home? At the upcoming Positive Parenting Conference 2022, be sure to check out the Screen Kids Masterclass.

Based on the book Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World, this masterclass is an interview with Arlene Pellicane, one of the book’s authors. Arlene is a writer and a public speaker, and perhaps most importantly she’s also a mom of three beautiful children. So, Arlene absolutely understands the struggle.

I was lucky enough to be a researcher for this masterclass, and I was deeply impressed with Arlene’s knowledge, empathy, and expert advice. She has a wealth of insight into this topic and has such a friendly, personable way of educating and informing us that it’s easy to walk away with lots of new information and ideas. 

While the Screen Kids Masterclass was packed with ideas, what really stood out to me was the reality check that Arlene gives on the impact of screen time on our child’s brain development, as that’s been a concern of mine since I first started letting my oldest child watch cartoons. Another growing issue in my own household has been anger management (for both my child and myself!), so I was also interested to hear her discuss the connection between screen time and anger management. But equally important to me was Arlene’s emphasis on the importance of books on building attention spans; we’re big readers in this household!  [Read more…]

How to Raise Kids Who Dare to be Unique Instead of Trying to Fit In

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

raising unique kidsLast fall, I put my oldest son into public school for the first time.

He was in second grade. We had just moved to a new state and I was hoping that going to “normal” school would help him make friends and get adjusted to our new home. Prior to that, he’d been in an online school–which basically meant he was being homeschooled, but with a state-sponsored curriculum.

There were lots of reasons I initially chose to keep him home. I worried about the strong academic focus of our local elementary school and the kind of pressure that would be present, even in kindergarten. I worried about long hours away from home. I worried about minimal outdoor recess time for a child who didn’t particularly excel at sitting still.

What I didn’t realize at the time was how much staying home with me had allowed my son to grow into himself and to build his own sense of who he is and what he likes. I also never anticipated how quickly public school would pressure him into conformity.

I still remember the first time he went to school with his nails painted. We had all–both of my sons and myself–painted our nails over the weekend: blue and purple with sparkles.

When I picked him up after school on Monday, his nails were bare. His classmates had made fun of him and he’d painstakingly scraped all the colors and glitter off over the course of the day.

I was heartbroken. I had always tried so hard to build up my son’s sense of individuality, to support his interests and not force him into a box based on socially acceptable, but outdated gender norms. And a few months of public school was already working to undermine all that. [Read more…]