Over the last few years I have been blessed to witness my son do some amazing things that I admittedly would not have been able to do at the same age.

For example, his school held an evening lecture, and my son was asked to introduce the guest speaker in an auditorium filled with fellow students and parents. He calmly walked up to the podium and clearly read a lengthy introduction. Then he greeted the speaker with a firm handshake and took his seat in the audience.

If he was nervous, it didn’t show! I was wowed by his ability to rise to the challenge placed before him with such ease and grace.

It got me thinking — since I am not always confident — how is that I (and my husband) raised such a strong, confident child?

I reflected back to all the areas where we have specifically focused our attention over the years and concluded that a multi-disciplinary approach has been key to helping our son succeed in building self-confidence, inner strength and self-reliance. Our approach has focused on three primary areas: physical, mental and emotional.

As the saying goes, “A three-legged stool will not wobble!”

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I am about to send a kid to college and become an “empty nester.” I have been asked frequently, mostly by parents with much younger children, “What does it feel like to be crossing the finish line?”  

What does it feel like? 

Well, it feels a lot like that first sleepless night at home with the baby, and it feels like letting them ride a bike around the block, alone. It feels like dropping them off at a brand-new school where they don’t know anyone, and it feels like handing over the car keys for the first time.

Parenthood has so many firsts, but nearing that “finish line,” I can safely say the feeling of every first is pretty much the same: anticipation, pride, happiness, hope and a little parental fear, all mixed together.

In other words, sending your kid to college is a lot like all the milestone moments you parent a child through, and let’s be real…It seems like, more than ever, parenthood is often fraught with an increasing array of anxiety, fear, educated guesses and risk analysis!

But, don’t worry. I have advice garnered by extensive research and some real life experiences to help you navigate and quell those parental fears and anxiety so you can enjoy more anticipation, joy and happiness — whether you just brought your bundle of joy home for the first time or are dropping your teen off at college.

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I was at my son’s school to check him out early for an appointment. While I waited for him, the school secretary commented on what a nice, helpful kid my son is.

“Really?” I replied, hoping she would say more.

“Oh yes, just the other day, it was raining and several girls forgot their umbrellas. Your son took his jacket off and held it over their heads while they were waiting in the carpool line so they wouldn’t get wet!” she said.

Smiling, I thanked her for the compliment, but I wasn’t surprised. I could picture my son doing that!

That’s when I realized his actions at school were the actualization of a lifetime of lessons that family, friends and teachers have gifted to my son.  We’ve worked hard to teach him to be helpful through conscious attention to teaching helpfulness as a skill.

Teaching kids behaviors like helpfulness is an endeavor that starts when they are babies and continues until they leave home, and it’s influenced by everyone our kids come in contact with. I suppose you have heard the saying “It takes a village”? How true that saying is!

That’s why it’s important to expose our kids to the people that will be the best role models. To give them age-appropriate toys and entertainment that aligns with your family’s values. To know who their friends are and the ideas they are being exposed to. And to give them the best education we can find.

Helpfulness is a wonderful character trait to teach our children. I’ve read that kids are like sponges; they soak up everything! You see, learning doesn’t start on the first day of school. Learning starts the day they are born! [Read more…]