101 Easy Ways to Show Your Kids Just How Absolutely Loved They Are

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon.

My daughter was reading a book, I was folding laundry and there was music playing in the background.

I was humming to myself along with the music, when she looked up from her book and smiled at me. I smiled back and playfully replaced the words in the song I was humming with “I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

It was one of those silly, goofy, whim-of-the-moment things. But she beamed. Her smile could have lit up a city block. For a long while after she returned to her book, she still had the smile plastered on her face.

And I couldn’t help but think — we have literally hundreds of simple ways to show our kids how much we love them! During simple watercolor moments like these. And during the not-so-simple, definitely-not-watercolor moments as well.

So, I decided to make a list of all the different ways we can show our kids our unconditional love for them… during the times everything is nice and beautiful. And during those other times when things aren’t going quite as well.

Check it out –

When you’re going about your normal day

1. Say “I Love You” any time, in the middle of anything. For no reason at all.
2. Say “You know, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me”
3. Say “I wouldn’t trade you for a million dollars”
4. If they say, “I Love you” first, counter with “I Love You + One” or “I Love You More”
5. Argue with them about who loves whom more
6. Make up silly extents of how much you love them (“I love you more than the universe”, “I love you a gajilliion bajillion times”, “I love you to the moon and back”)
7. Use sign language to sign “I Love You” and say, “I learnt to do that so I could tell you I Love You even if I couldn’t speak”
8. Have a secret code for saying “I Love You” when in public (ex. 3 blinks, or squeezing the hand 3 times)
9. Come up with a million different pet names for them
10. Discover the one pet name that is yours and their favorite
11. Make up goofy songs for each other
12. Write each other silly love notes
13. Play together
14. Cook together
15. Read together
16. Build something together (Legos, blocks etc.)
17. Do crafts and art projects together
18. Cuddle up to watch TV/movie together
19. Build blanket forts
20. Surprise them (I once built a surprise shack for my daughter by cutting apart and stacking boxes from a rather large Amazon order… The look on her face when she saw it after coming back from school, and the amount of play that shack got, was priceless!)
21. Say “Thank you”
22. Give them one of your cherished possessions as an unexpected gift
23. Make something unique with them that they will cherish forever.

When you see them after a separation

24. Look up at them and smile
25. Stop whatever you are doing and give them your complete attention, even if it is for just a minute
26. Greet them with a cheerful “Hi”, “Hello” or “Good Morning”
27. Hug
28. Kiss
29. Tussle their hair or tuck a stray strand behind the ear
30. Squeeze shoulders
31. Say “I missed you”
32. Say “I’m so happy to see you”
33. Say “Now, isn’t that a face to light up the day”
34. Say “Gosh, I was waiting for that hug all day”
35. Say “Nobody gives such wonderful hugs. Where did you learn that from?”
36. Ask “Did you have a good day?”

When they are being annoying

37. Say “I love you so much, but gosh, sometimes you drive me up the wall”
38. Ask “I am so upset with you right now, but you know that deep down, I still love you, right?”
39. Say “I need to stay quiet (or step away) for a few minutes, so I don’t say anything harsh and hurt you in a moment of anger”
40. Say “Aaaargh, if I didn’t love you so much, I’d probably jump up and down and rip the place apart like the Hulk since I’m sure feeling like one right now”
41. Say “I love you, but I need you to leave me alone for a moment. Can you do that for me please?”
42. Say “I’m so annoyed and I can see you are upset too. Do you think we can hug it out of each other?”
43. Say “Can we just agree to disagree about this please? I don’t want to fight with you”
44. Say “Let’s take a few moments to calm down and then discuss this again. I love you too much to let this turn into an ugly fight”
45. Say “Aaaargh, I don’t like the direction this is taking. I love you and don’t want to go there. Reset?”
46. Sigh, sit down and invite them to come cuddle up with you.

When they are frustrated

47. Get down to their level and pay attention to the activity that is causing the frustration so you can acknowledge and empathize sincerely
48. Put a hand on the shoulder or gently rub circles on the back
49. Hug tight and say “I know you are frustrated, but I don’t want you to give up. Can we see if we can do it together?” or “Is there something I can do to help?”
50. Offer “Do you want to talk it out with me to see if you can figure a way out?”
51. Don’t lecture
52. Don’t patronize or condescend
53. Don’t try to figure out the solution for them, but do what you can to help them figure one out by themselves
54. Definitely don’t do the task for them
55. Distract (“I can see you are getting very frustrated. Why don’t we do ___________ for now and you can get back to this in a bit?”)

When they are sad/upset

56. Ask “Do you want to talk about it?”
57. Really listen. And let them vent
58. Say “I see you need some space right now. I will be right outside if you need me, OK?” and step away
59. Check on them often, but keep the check-ins short unless they invite you into a conversation
60. Say “You look like you could use a hug. Come here, [favorite pet name]”
61. Share a similar experience you’ve had (even if it makes you uneasy and vulnerable. Especially, if it makes you uneasy and vulnerable)
62. Stroke their hair and talk in soothing tones while they cry it out (and maybe eventually fall asleep)
63. Read for them their favorite story, and lull them to sleep
64. Sing for them their favorite lullaby (even if they are well over the lullaby age), and lull them to sleep
65. Ask “I know it looks like things are nasty right now, but you will always have us. We will always love you and you will always be our angel no matter what happens elsewhere. You know that right?”
66. Distract by declaring “That’s it, it’s a dessert before dinner kind of night tonight” or “It’s time to boogie woogie”

When they have accomplished something (however big or small)

67. Acknowledge it with a simple “Yaaaaay, you did it!”
68. Say “Wow, that is neat! I love [what you’ve done!]” (The more specific/descriptive you are the better – for example, saying “I love how beautifully you’ve blended the colors” is better than “I love your painting”)
69. Give them silly titles… “That is impressive. From now I am going to refer to you as “Miss Artist Extraordinaire Michelangelo” or “Mr. Iron Chef Unbeatable””
70. Say “Wow that took a lot of effort. I love how you stuck to it and never gave up!”
71. Ask “Whoa…. How did you do that?”
72. Ask “Wow, I’ve never done [what they’ve done]. Do you think you can teach me how to?”
73. Ask “So, now that you’ve mastered [what they’ve done], what was the hardest part of getting here?”
74. Say “All that practice and hard work paid off, huh? I am so proud of you!”
75. Ask “I am so glad you have [accomplished something] and it makes me so proud of you. But you know that even if you hadn’t won, I would have continued right on loving you, right?”

When they ask you to do something with them

76. As much as possible say “Yes, sure” or “Sure, why not?” or “Of course” or “What a great idea… let’s do it!”
77. Ways to lovingly say “No” #1: “I wish we could sweetie, but you know we can’t because…” (ie, give them a reason instead of simply turning them down)
78. Ways to lovingly say “No” #2: “We can’t do/have it now, but if you will remind me on […]” or “Sure honey, as soon as I/you […]”
79. Ways to lovingly say “No” #3: “You still have some growing up to do before you […]. Remind me again when you are ___ years old and I’ll say yes.”
80. Ways to lovingly say “No” #4: “I love you too much to let you do […]”
81. Ways to lovingly say “No” #5: “I can’t say yes to […]. I know you are disappointed. How about if we […] instead”

When you are very tired, exhausted or stressed

82. Say “Mommy/Daddy is very tired today. I wish I could […] but I simply don’t have the energy. Can we snuggle up and [read/nap] instead.”
83. Say “I really love playing with you, but I am too stressed about what I still need to do. Do you want to bring your book here and read next to me while I finish up my work? We can still keep each other company…”
84. Say “I love you [favorite pet name], but I need to take a rain check today. How about you […] for now, and in the night, I will be sure to make time to snuggle up with you for a bit and tuck you in”
85. Say “Oh Gosh, I wish I could be a little kid again and forget about all these grownup responsibilities. I so want to play with you right now and not worry about this [task on hand] at the moment”
86. Say “Owwww… my back is killing me. Think you can kiss my boo boo away?” OR “Owwww… my back is killing me. Any chance I can get some of your magic massage for a few minutes?” OR “Owww… my head hurts. Will you please read to me for a few minutes? I love how soothing your voice feels”

When they are very tired, exhausted or stressed

87. Say “You seem tired. Here let me do [something] for you”
88. Ask “You look exhausted. Do you want to skip [something] today?”
89. Ask “Gosh, you look stressed. Do you want to talk to me about it?” or “Can I help in some way?”
90. Say “I am so proud of you for pushing yourself so hard. You should get some rest too, OK, sweetie? I would love for you to [accomplish something], but not at the cost of hurting yourself”
91. Say “Come here sweet pea. Let me rub your shoulders a bit. You look done in”
92. Ask “You look beat. Do you want me to run a nice hot bath for you to soak in?”
93. Ask “You look very stressed. Do you want to just veg out and watch movies all weekend this weekend?”

When you have disappointed them or let them down

94. Say “I am so sorry that I let you down [favorite pet name]. How can I make it up to you?”
95. Say “[Favorite pet name], mommy/daddy is human and sometimes makes mistakes. Will you please forgive me? Can I [do something] to fix things?”
96. Say “I am so sorry you thought I was [the misunderstanding]. That was not my intention. I wanted to [explanation]. Can we go back to being friends again?”
97. Say “I am very stressed right now and it was wrong on my part to take it out on you. I am so sorry. Will you please give me a few minutes to calm down and then we can figure out how to fix this?”

When they are being rash or irresponsible

98. Say “Hey, I can’t go to Target and get another [favorite pet name]. So, you better be careful and make sure you don’t break yourself!”
99. Say “Gosh you’re going to give me a heart attack. I love you too much to let you do such rash things. Can you please stop?”
100. Say “I know it’s your body and your choice. But do you know that my heart is tied to that little body and if it gets hurt, so will my heart?”

And finally, one for anytime, any occasion

101. Say “I love you, no matter what, always and forever”

Yes, it needs to be said. Out loud. And often.

As much for our sake, as theirs.

I’m sure I’ve just scratched the surface with this list. Your turn. What are some of your favorite ways to show your love? Do you have any stories of how something simple you said or did made your child feel utterly loved?