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About Leah Porritt

A behavior specialist by profession, Leah is a huge advocate of the inclusion of children with disabilities and finds passion in assisting parents with finding creative ways in which to provide supports for children with behavioral challenges. Leah enjoys finding the humor in parenting and sharing it as a way to encourage mothers to support and encourage each other. Once a Division I athlete, Leah still enjoys running and participating in races with her oldest son... even though she is much slower these days. New to the blogging world, but not new to writing, Leah shares her experiences as a mom, professional, runner, and everything in between at www.outofthenutshell.com. Leah lives in the Baltimore, MD area with her husband and three children.

How to Alter Your Child’s “Problem” Behaviors Like a Specialist

by Leah Porritt.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

child-behavior-main-image_52361453I walk into daycare at the end of the day.

My 2 year-old is at the table, playing with Play-Doh.

Upon seeing me, he holds his little hand out in a “stop” motion.  He shakes his head and says “no no no,” while covering the Play-Doh with his other chubby fingers.

His message is clear.  Mom is here, so that means it’s time to go… but I’m having fun and I want to stay.

That’s okay because I’m in no rush.  I hug my daughter and listen to her chatter about her day.  I gather up jackets and backpacks while talking to our daycare provider.

At some point, my son gets down from the table, grabs his teddy bear, stands in the middle of the room, opens his mouth, and lets out an eardrum-blowing scream.

The kind of scream that rises to an octave so high, I’m pretty sure all the neighborhood dogs will have gathered outside.

Unprompted.  Unexpected.  Happy as a clam just a second ago.

Behaviors like this, especially when they happen often (this is not the first time I’ve heard that blood curdling scream come out of my cute little blonde-headed babe), can be frustrating.

The frustration is there because these behaviors often seem uncalled for.  They are unpredictable and can be time-consuming.  Whether it’s your toddler testing her new found sense of freedom, or an older child who is struggling with something more specific, it can be easy to get swept up in the frustration of the situation and start thinking of them as “problem” behaviors.

We may find ourselves reacting in ways that we are hoping will just stop the behavior on the spot.  We may find ourselves yelling, reprimanding, threatening or picking our kids up and physically removing them from the situation.

Worse yet, we may find ourselves so frustrated by how the behavior has affected our day, that we don’t take the time to look deeper and understand why the behavior exists.

Here’s the rub: All behavior has a reason behind it. 

I am a behavior specialist in a public school system in Maryland.  I have 14 years of experience working with children from 3 to 21 in both the public and nonpublic school realms. I also have an almost unhealthy obsession for keeping up with the latest studies in this field; which comes in handy when it’s time to teach behavior-based trainings.

So I understand this: [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Social Skills Masterclass” With Janine Halloran

by Leah Porritt.
(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

If you’ve been following along with the past few weeks of mini-series articles to prepare for the 2022 Positive Parenting Conference at AFineParent.com, then you have probably felt the energy leap off your screen! The conference literally has something for everyone, regardless of what your family structure looks like, whom you are parenting with, and how many children you may have.

Take, for example, our next highlighted masterclass expert, Janine Halloran. As the Editor-in-Chief and a writer for AFineParent.com, I was so excited to have early access to the Social Skills Masterclass. Janine is a licensed mental health professional who has been working with children and adolescents for 15 years. She is also the author of Social Skills for Kids: Over 75 Fun Games & Activities for Building Better Relationships, Problem Solving & Improving Communication, which was the inspiration for this masterclass. 

Janine makes the immediate point that all children have different innate levels of social awareness, with some having much more natural social skills than others. As a parent of three very socially different children, this was a relief to hear. Although I am a behavior specialist at a special education school by profession, and social skill diversity is not a new topic for me, feeling “okay” with my own children’s diverse social awareness has always been a different story. 

[Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Anxiety in Teens Masterclass” With Natasha Daniels

by Leah Porritt.
(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

Making the commitment to positive parenting is not always as simple as we wish. During times of chaos, stress, and anxiety (for us or our kids), sticking with a positive parenting approach often needs to be a very conscious and deliberate choice. It doesn’t always come naturally! 

That’s why I’m looking forward to the Positive Parenting Conference this year- it’s an opportunity to tune up my skills, hone in on new ideas, and feel supported by the amazing experts involved. One such expert, Natasha Daniels, speaks of a topic near and dear to my own heart in her Understanding Anxiety in Teens Masterclass.

Natasha is a child anxiety and OCD therapist speaking to us on the ideas, tips, and tricks she writes about in her book Anxiety Sucks! A Teen Survival Guide. Natasha has been supporting children, teens and parents for years through private practice and through her writing with a direct, focused approach. The unique thing about Natasha’s book is that while parents will benefit from reading it, the targeted audience is our teenagers. The book is easy to follow; it breaks anxiety down in a simplistic and concrete way that teenagers will benefit from and understand.

As the parent of a child who struggles with anxiety, I appreciate Natasha’s straightforward attitude. As the editor for the AFineParent blog, I was lucky enough to get early access to this informative and insightful masterclass. Natasha will literally transform your entire mindset on anxiety in all its themed forms, from perfectionism to public speaking to social anxiety, in this masterclass. [Read more…]

What is the “Mean Girl Problem,” Why You Should Care, and What You Can Do About It

by Leah Porritt.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

mean-girl-problem-main imageI still remember getting my first perm in middle school and smiling from ear to ear when the most popular girl in the school touched my hair and told me it “looked great.” That compliment felt like a rite of passage, at an age where acceptance was constantly sought out by most girls–even at the cost of meanness.

Once I started playing sports, I found a group of girls that were supportive and caring, many of whom I still keep in touch with today. But even while my team gave a sense of belonging, I still witnessed how very real the mean girl problem was. As I look at my young daughter, so devoted and loving to her friends and peers, I can’t help but cringe at the thought of her eventual experience with the mean girl problem.

The National Center for Education Statistics reported in 2019 that an average of 22 percent of students ages 12 to 18 reported being bullied, with girls reporting significantly higher (25.5%) than boys (19.1%). 

Studies show that bullying can occur amongst any gender, race, socio-economic class, and even age (Do you know a bully in adulthood? Yeah, me too). We also know that there is importance in understanding the role that gender stereotypes play in bullying. Gender identity can impact how children adapt and interact with their peers; gender stereotypes can influence bullying as they impact the socialization of children into gender roles. 

Yes, even in 2021, young boys are still socialized to be strong and independent, while females are socialized to be sensitive and understanding. Children who don’t act according to their expected gender roles are at higher risk of bullying by their peers. [Read more…]

Parenting Triggers: The Hard Truth All Parents Face (and What to Do about It)

by Leah Porritt.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

parenting-triggers-main-image.jpg“No.”

I locked eyes with the deep blue irises of my son as he glared at me through his long lashes. While his eyes remained stubborn, I could see the small upward turn of his mouth. He was trying to hide it but the dimple on his cheek gave him away; he knew he was going to get me with that one word. 

“No.”

We’ve been down this road before. Setting up the day with lots of praise when I catch him doing something positive and a reinforcement system that involves his coveted iPad will often work beautifully. 

But…

After a week of long days at school (where he has to work harder than most to dial in his impulses), sports activities, and just not as much time for the direct attention from his mama that he reaped during the year and a half of quarantine, these moments seem unavoidable at times. 

My usually sweet and affectionate blonde-haired babe will suddenly reenact a Jekyll and Hyde performance that will leave my mind spinning long after he’s over it and moved on. It’ll usually begin small enough: a pouting face or a tear, easy enough to handle. But if the usual tactics don’t work, I’ll suddenly find myself in a face-off with a 35 pound bulldog. In those moments, it won’t matter if I’m asking him to recite the Declaration of Independence or eat an ice cream cone; the answer will always be a vehement “NO.” 

These moments leave me feeling like the sole purpose of his life is to get under my skin. I’m quite certain he knows what he needs to do, may even want to do it–yet refuses because he knows it is what I want him to do…and if he’s annoyed, he sure as heck wants to make sure I am too. 

I can feel my blood pressure rise, my hands start to sweat, and I have the sudden urge to yell. As a behavior specialist by profession, the editor of a positive parenting site by passion and a mom constantly working on personal growth, I can keep it together a lot of the time. But that “no” is my Achilles heel. In those moments, “no,” is a parenting trigger that I struggle with.

A trigger, according to psychologist, parenting expert, and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham, is “anything you experience in the present moment that activates a feeling from the past.” Triggers are dangerous because they can elicit a feeling that in turn causes us to react in a way that’s not keeping with the present. [Read more…]

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Fair Warning: While none of this is professional advice, it is powerful stuff and could potentially change your life!
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