The term “mindfulness” is popping up everywhere these days. There are books and apps and whole pages dedicated to mindful moments in popular magazines. There are mindfulness exercises to help us slow down, eat less and lose weight, focus more, and work harder.

There’s even mindfulness activities that promise to help us be better parents.

I’ll admit it, I’ve bought in.

Mindfulness has been wonderful for me. It started slowly, years ago when I began taking yoga classes, in a tiny studio with only three other students and a teacher who had trained for hundreds and hundreds of hours.

These classes slowed my mind and I learned to observe the stories constantly running through it, without judgement or action.

Now, I’m by no means someone who sits and meditates for an hour everyday — there just isn’t time! Let’s be honest, some days…okay most days…I can’t even find just 10 minutes to sit quietly, let alone a whole hour!

But, still, the lessons I’ve learned in mindfulness are always quietly running through my head. They help me to be more present, calmer, and empathetic with those around me, especially with my child.

I’m not the only one who has seen the benefits of mindfulness. Researchers have published studies that compare brain images of those who regularly practice mindfulness and those who don’t.

These studies have found that those engaged in mindfulness activities have an increased brain capacity for decision-making, rational thinking, emotion regulation, learning, memory, kindness and compassion.

These studies also show that mindfulness practices decrease brain activity in areas involved with anxiety, worry and impulsiveness.

If studies done with adults show all these benefits, I couldn’t help but wonder if similar impacts would be seen in children. Here’s what I found out.

[Read more…]

Will you do something for me? Humor me here.

I want you to think about a recent situation you found yourself in that made you feel anxious.

Maybe it was a big meeting or presentation at work. Maybe it was a job interview or a public speaking gig. Maybe it was walking into a doctor’s office or the dentist. Maybe it was because you had a fender bender or forgot to pay a bill. Maybe it was as you were dialing a number to have a conversation with someone that you knew wasn’t going to go well.

Now think about how it made you feel.

Sweaty palms. Racing heart. Shaking hands. The feeling you have to use the bathroom. The feeling you can’t quite catch your breath. Restless legs. Clenched fists. Shutting down. Dizziness. Upset stomach. Tense muscles.

Now think about how that must feel to our children; with their young minds and not yet fully developed coping skills.

Anxiety.

It’s a normal part of our human existence. Everyone feels anxiety at times, as we inevitably will have experiences that present as “high stakes.” Think about professional athletes and how they feel when walking onto the court, the track, the field. Although they may not outwardly show it, even the most seasoned athlete experiences nerves.

[Read more…]

Who taught you about the birds and the bees?

Maybe your parents had an awkward conversation with you or handed you a book to read. Maybe you got bits and pieces of information from your friends. Or maybe you learned from sex education class in school.

Have you thought about when you’ll have the “talk” with your child? And how much information you’ll share at different times?

Will you be proactive to teach your child about sex and puberty?

You may be thinking, my kids are little!  This is not something I need to think about yet!

I thought that, too. My four kids are ages 10 and under and I didn’t think much about it. I thought I had years to go.

I was wrong.

[Read more…]

The days are getting shorter. Ads for notebooks and backpacks are showing up in my inbox. Amazon sent me a personal invitation into their #2 pencil emporium. The frenzy of summer is coming to a close and a whole different frenzy is about to begin.

It’s the start of the School Year.

Nooooooo! My children cry in horror, seeing a crisp, new notebook peeking out of our shopping bag.

For some of us this is old hat. We’ve been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.

For others, this is the first time you are sending your precious babies out into the cold, cruel world of school.

As a mom of 9 and 12 year old boys and the Director of Admission of a preschool, I’ve seen this day from many different sides and angles. Here are 5 bits of wisdom that we, the teachers and school staff, would like every parent to know irrespective of whether this is your first ever first-day-of-school, or you are a practiced veteran.

[Read more…]

If I asked parents how they would like their children to turn out I am pretty sure that being kind and compassionate would be pretty close to the top of their list.

We all wish this for our children and we all worry when we see signs of entitlement, or notice our children struggling to get on well with others.

We feel that, at some age, we should teach our children that not everyone in our world is as lucky as them to be clothed, fed, and with a roof over their heads. We hope that they will grow up to care about others, and to help make the world a better place.

A few mornings ago, my six-year-old daughter woke up and demanded “water!’’ in an agitated, frustrated kind of voice. My first reaction was to grit my teeth and to ask myself why she was acting so ‘entitled.’

To make me even more upset, I’d come across an article awhile ago about how if our child asks us to do things that they can easily do themselves then this could be a sign of entitlement.

However a few seconds into my thought process I calmed down and reflected on what was really going on here.

[Read more…]