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“Mommy! Why can I not open my eyes when I look at the sun?

Why do I always have to sleep early, when you can stay up late?

Momma, why does the water not flow up the mountain ever?

Doesn’t the moon hate the sun for hiding it in the daytime?

Why is my hair straight and Dad’s curly?

Why can I not fly like the birds?”

Have you also had your share of the endless questions with limited unsatisfactory answers for your little ones? Did you ever think of hiding behind the couch like me seeing your little one in a questioning mode?

It’s payback time! But don’t worry! I’ll make sure it is fun for everyone!

It’s your turn to put some interesting questions to your kids. Because when you put a thoughtful question to your child, it zaps on her thinking mode automatically. And when young minds think, analyze or introspect, they learn best and grow up to be resourceful adults who can think out of the box and survive in any situation.

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At a recent youth retreat my 12-year-old nephew, Joey, was called up on stage along with four other preteens. Each participant had a box of tissues set in front of them. They were told, “at the word GO your challenge is to be the first person to remove all the tissues from the box. The winner will receive a large box of candy.”

At Go, four of the middle schoolers began to frantically remove the tissues from the box, one at a time. Joey, looking puzzled, watched his frenzied competitors for a moment, picked up his box, ripped off the top and pulled all the tissues out at once. Done!

When I asked him later how he came up with that idea he said, “It was the fastest way to get them out of the box.”

Critical thinking – being able to look at a problem, analyze it, and come up with a creative and effective solution – is one of the most important skills our children can learn. Critical and creative thinking skills help us make good decisions and solve problems. Those children with good critical thinking skills will be more successful as adults.

Joey saw the problem, thought outside the box, and emptied his box to receive his reward.  So how do we raise kids who think like this? How do we raise kids who can look at a situation and come up with creative and alternative ways to address it?

Here are 3 easy ways you can encourage critical and creative problem solving in your own kids.

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When my youngest was two he suddenly became obsessed with Halloween.

I’m sure a lot of my own enthusiasm for the holiday had something to do with it. As an American living in the U.K., I wanted my children to experience my favorite holiday. So, I threw a big party.

This became an annual tradition and it grew. Soon, I was renting the local village hall and inviting all thirty of my eldest son’s classmates. My youngest loved the scary characters, crafts, songs, and costumes, but his Halloween fixation continued long after Halloween.

As December approached I couldn’t interest him in Santa or snowmen or anything else having to do with Christmas. He wanted me to read him Halloween stories and he demanded Halloween songs at bedtime. I only knew two Halloween songs and I was getting fed up with them.

I soon started adapting classic songs to give them a Halloween twist. “How Much is that Doggy in the Window?” became “How Much is that Vampire in the Window?” My father-in-law came up with “99 Scary Monsters on the Wall” in lieu of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”. That quickly became a favorite.

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“Noooo!”

His high-pitched shout echoed down the hall.

“Buddy, please just go put on your shoes. I don’t want to ask you again.”

“I don’t want to!”

I sighed loudly as I braced myself for yet another showdown.

My five-year-old had been pushing all my buttons for weeks. He was cranky and would balk at the simplest requests. The sass had reached an all-time high.

On top of that, he was incredibly needy even though we were spending almost every day together.

I was at my wits end, and I felt like our relationship was really struggling. It was one of those seasons in parenting when I was at a complete loss for what to do next, even though I knew something had to change.

Ever been there?

If you have, you know it’s not a fun place to be.

It was during this time of desperately searching for some solution, when a parenting webinar led me to the work of Dr. Laura Markham and her book, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.

The title immediately caught my eye. I longed for a peace-filled home, and of course I wanted happy kids. What parent doesn’t?

Sheer frustration had me yelling way more than I ever imagined I would, and I knew the connection with my son was suffering greatly as a result. This book couldn’t arrive fast enough!

I dove right in, and when I read the section about spending special time with kids, a light bulb went off.

I realized although my son was around me for a significant part of each day, we often weren’t spending quality one-on-one time together. With his little brother to care for, along with the general busyness of life, I just wasn’t paying enough attention to him. (It pains me to say that aloud.)

His neediness that, at times, was downright exhausting was a clue. His defiance and cranky attitude? Also clues. I was not giving him the connection time that he needed.

I didn’t know if having special time with my son was going to bring harmony back to our relationship, but I was eager to give it a shot.

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