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Let’s play a quick word association game.

I will say one word, and you will say the first thing that comes to your mind when you read that word. Don’t think for long. Just say the first word that occurs to you. OK, here we go.

Sky.

Night.

Discipline.

Chances are, when you read “sky” the first word that came to your mind was “blue” or “high”.

When you read “night” you might think of the words “dark” or “day”.

What about “discipline”? What did you think of when you read that? In my case, I would probably have gone with “punishment” or “set right”.

The idea of discipline being synonymous with punishment is ingrained in our psyche. The first thing we think of when we hear the word “discipline” is usually something negative.

However, did you know that the word discipline originates from the Latin word ‘disciplina’ which means teaching, which in turn comes from ‘discipulus’ which literally translates to pupil?

Yet, I can bet that very few who tried the little exercise above would have thought “teach” when they first read the word “discipline”.

For whatever reason, over the years, discipline has gone from meaning “to teach” to “to punish”!

Today we explore “positive discipline” an idea that focuses on reverting things back to the roots – when children do something wrong, instead of punishing them, parents teach and guide them to set the behavior right.

So, how do we go back from “to punish” to “to teach”? In small baby steps, of course!

Here are a few tips to get started, and by following some of these (pick a subset of the ones that work for you), slowly we can change our perspective about “discipline”. [Read more…]

I bet you’ve come across the term “positive reinforcement” before – but honestly, do you know what it really means? Better still, do you know how to apply it to go from the (*yawn*) nagging parent to a master motivator?

Some time back, I decided to jump onto the “positive reinforcement” bandwagon.

Except, it wasn’t really clear to me what exactly it is that I should be doing.

The worst part? The more I read about it, the more confused I got.

This article is the result of trying to sort through some of the confusion and figuring out how we can be masters of applying “positive reinforcement” to raise terrific, internally motivated kids.

(Note: If long, detailed articles aren’t your cup of tea just scroll down to the bottom of the article for a handy-dandy illustration that captures the gist of the article!)

Ok, let’s dive right in.

Use Praise/Reward Instead of Criticism/Punishment. Duh!

So, the first thing I understood is that I should use praise/reward instead of criticism/punishment. The argument is that criticizing or punishing often kills a child’s spirit and self esteem. If you focus instead on praise/reward you reinforce the child’s self worth and since children inherently want to please their parents, this will make them want to behave instead of misbehave.

[Read more…]