Does being playful and silly come naturally to you?

It didn’t to me. Not at first. I’m getting better at it now though.

My children are all very active and full of energy. Their extreme enthusiasm made me more serious, as I felt the need to maintain balance in the family to prevent things from descending into chaos.

But a while ago, we suffered a loss in our family, and it truly reminded me how short life is. And the way “normal” life got turned upside down by the COVID-19 situation further drove this home.

I have made it my personal goal to enjoy life as much as possible and to cut loose with my kids as best as I can.

We do have an important job in shaping our children, but I want to have fun while doing it.

I made a list to help me transition from that serious mama to a more silly, playful mama. And over time, I kept adding to that list. Today, I added a few last ones to round it up to the nice “100” number and I’m sharing it with you.

I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me!

No Matter What Age Your Kids Are…

This first section of ideas should work no matter what age your kids are –

1. Have water fights. You can do this in the bathroom during your daily routine or go all out with water guns and drench each other on the front lawn.
2. Let your child give you a makeover. They can do your hair, make up, and even paint your nails.
3. Jump in leaves together.
4. Have a dance off between you and your children – no special occasion necessary.
5. Alternately, dance your difficult emotions away. Whenever you or your child is angry or upset, grab them and start dancing.
6. See who can make the loudest noises with their armpits. Or fake farts. Or burps. A little gross, but believe me, almost every child loves this!
7. Jump on the trampoline together.
8. Cook/bake together and don’t worry about the mess. That’s half the fun!
9. When done, sing the cleanup song in a whacky tone (if you have little ones) or pop in a favorite CD (with bigger kids) and have fun cleaning up the mess together.
10. Play in the rain together. [Read more…]

“Okay, Buddy, it’s time to put your shoes on. We have to go.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You have to wear shoes… so what are we going to do?”

“But Mom, those shoes need socks. I don’t want to put socks on. I hate socks.”

“Well, okay, what shoes would you like to wear that don’t require socks?”

Our youngest happily trots off to find other shoes that will work for the day.

Yes, this is my life now. It seems surreal to be honest. It wasn’t always like this.

As a parent you know every kid has their own little bunch of quirks. I am a mom of a child that hates to wear socks. Sumitha has bemoaned her child’s refusal to wear jackets, coats or leggings. Lisa has spoken of her daughter’s irrational fear of water. Spend a few minutes looking through the comments on this site (or any parenting site), and you’ll come away with tons of stories about kids refusing to eat, sleep, brush their hair or any number of things that drive us parents insane.

2 years back I used to trip up big time with my son’s Socks Issues. I have 3 sons. Getting them out the door on any given day is like herding cats. Who has the time to deal with the irrational whining about socks, right?

Tears, orders, screaming, threats… we’ve been through it all.

And yet, these days, most of the time instead of power struggles we have peaceful discussions.

Do you want to know what made the difference? A decision to be a positive gentle parent.

I’m going to shoot straight with you. I once was a really negative parent. In fact, I was a bit of a negative person all the way around. It is going to show through what you are about to read.

I still struggle not to judge myself for how harshly I once judged something I knew nothing about.

And the switch to positive parenting has neither been easy nor without epic fails.

But I can say one thing unequivocally — this choice has turned my home from a constant battlefield to a place of calm, open communication.

I hope something here will resonate with you if you are struggling with parenting. According to a study conducted by Oregon State University, “Children who experienced high levels of negative parenting were more likely to be antisocial and delinquent as adolescents.” I know no parent wants these results for their children, but the change begins with us.

So, I am going to be candid. I’m going to share with you the good, the bad and the ugly of [Read more…]

“Mom, do I really have to invite him to my party? I don’t like him!”

Have you ever had these awkward conversations with your child?

Yes, I’ve been there too!

Here’s the thing — not everyone we come across in our lifetime will be a peach. We won’t get along with all of them nor really enjoy being around all of them.

That however does not give us the license to be mean or rude.

Being able to deal with those who we don’t see eye-to-eye with in a healthy, respectful manner is essential to being a decent human being. And that is what I want to raise my kids to be.

Besides, research shows that good social skills – the ability to interact with all kinds of people, including those whom we may not like – is key to career success… from being able to ace an interview to securing funding for entrepreneurial ventures.

So, it is in our best interest to teach our kids how to deal with other kids they don’t like.

After some digging around, here’s what I’ve found to be a good approach –

[Read more…]

“Jacob, do you know how important reading comprehension is? Do you know how important becoming a good writer can be to your future?”

He stares at me blankly.

“Well, let me tell you. No matter what you do, you’ll need to understand what you read and convey a clear thought in writing. I can’t think of one profession where those things won’t matter.”

Some days, he continues to stare at me blankly.

On others, he quickly responds with a “Yeah, Ok. OK!!” in that exasperated voice of his that conveys he’ll agree with whatever I say just to keep me from launching into more nagging and lecturing.

Jacob loves math and science. However, when it comes to language arts, he is totally uninterested. And I lecture and nag to drive home the point that this stuff really matters.

In reality though, he probably just hears “blah, blah, blah.”

No matter how much I harp, nothing I say seems to get through.

So, what do we do, parents? There are so many important issues that we want to talk to our kids about, but if everything we say just goes into one ear and out the other and completely bypasses the brain, what good will it achieve?

Here’s what I’ve found out –

[Read more…]