“Jacob, do you know how important reading comprehension is? Do you know how important becoming a good writer can be to your future?”

He stares at me blankly.

“Well, let me tell you. No matter what you do, you’ll need to understand what you read and convey a clear thought in writing. I can’t think of one profession where those things won’t matter.”

Some days, he continues to stare at me blankly.

On others, he quickly responds with a “Yeah, Ok. OK!!” in that exasperated voice of his that conveys he’ll agree with whatever I say just to keep me from launching into more nagging and lecturing.

Jacob loves math and science. However, when it comes to language arts, he is totally uninterested. And I lecture and nag to drive home the point that this stuff really matters.

In reality though, he probably just hears “blah, blah, blah.”

No matter how much I harp, nothing I say seems to get through.

So, what do we do, parents? There are so many important issues that we want to talk to our kids about, but if everything we say just goes into one ear and out the other and completely bypasses the brain, what good will it achieve?

Here’s what I’ve found out –

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So, on this site we talk a lot about being connected parents.

About guiding and supporting our kids in their journey through childhood, so they can grow up to be fantastic human beings.

Today though I want to take a step back and look specifically at those instances when we need to get out of the way so we can be better parents.

It was amazing how many situations I could come up with once I got thinking!

We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s dive right in –

#1 When Your Lid Is About To Blow

Let’s just start off with a bang.

Sometimes there are instances when we can get angry in a controlled manner.

And then, there are those when all sanity has left the building, and we simply want to scream, rant and rave not caring a hoot to what destruction it leaves in its wake.

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“I hate school!” your child yells as they storm off to their room.

Ugggh! Such a heartbreaking and exhausting statement.

School is an important part of every child’s life.

Irrespective of whether they go to a public school, a private school, virtual school, are homeschooled or have some combination of these, school is where your child learns the academic basics that will carry through with them into their adult years.

It is also where they get their first lessons in social development, problem solving, conflict resolution, planning and organization.

And when your child declares (repeatedly) that they hate school, it can be stressful and trigger all kinds of fear and frustration.

I understand it. I really do. It wasn’t very long ago that my son uttered those same words on a daily basis. I rarely ever heard anything positive about school from him.

We’ve gone through some challenging situations as parents, but this one was particularly stressful to me. First through public school and then homeschool, I had to figure out a way to help my child learn to love school.

I documented the whole process as much as I could, and I want to share the things I learned along this journey with you. Hopefully, something within it will resonate with you, and more importantly with your child.

Here we go –

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“Jacob! Come here, please!”

A few minutes pass…

“Jacob! I need you to come here, please!”

A few more minutes pass… and your patience begins to fade.

“Jacob! I said for you to come here!”

Jacob finally comes out of his room and graces you with his presence. Instead of greeting you with a pleasant, “What’s up, Mom?” you get a, “What, Mom?” In an extremely sullen tone.

Your blood begins to boil! You realize these annoyed tones and snide remarks are becoming the new normal in your relationship.

You begin to ask yourself, “What have I done to him that makes him want to treat me this way?”

A simple answer is you have done nothing in this particular moment.

A more detailed answer is your child is angry. He or she may not even know why they are so angry. They are just angry.

That is where you come in. As an adult, you have to recognize and name the problem. ‘Name it to tame it’ as they say.

And in this particular case, the problem’s name is Passive Aggressive Behavior.

According to Wikipedia:

Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, stubbornness, sullen behavior, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

Your child does not have to fall victim to this nasty little habit of showing passive aggressive behavior. They can cope and understand what is going on within themselves. They can learn to express what is going on inside of them. And grow up to be mature and emotionally intelligent adults… with your help!

Here is how you help your child give passive aggressive behavior the boot!

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