How is this happening again?

Just a few short moments ago, you were enjoying a calm, relaxing moment together with your child when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, came a full-blown power struggle!

Cue the tears, yelling and hurtful words.

If you’re like most parents, you desperately try to avoid these moments.

They’re not fun.

They’re embarrassing. (Especially with judgmental onlookers questioning your every move.)

But the worst part about power struggles is that they seem to take away way too many of those precious moments you have with your kid (and he’s growing so fast, you don’t want to miss any more of them).

You’ve probably tried all of the standard advice for preventing power struggles…

• You pick your battles
• You give him choices
• You ignore what you can tolerate
• You might even give in every once in awhile because his request isn’t that out of line

But even with these tactics, sometimes avoiding a power struggle just isn’t possible. When he’s acting in a way that’s inappropriate and cannot be ignored, you feel like you’ve got to do something.

But what?

How do you sidestep the argument so that you don’t have to get caught in yet another stressful power struggle, yet remain the type of parent you want to be, one who has expectations and rules, not a doormat who folds at every sign of conflict?

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In our house, Christmas is a work in progress, as far as gratitude goes.

Last year we celebrated with just our small, immediate family. And thankfully (or maybe not), there were not a ton of presents underneath our tree. Most of them were either for our older son or for the entire family, so we let him have the pleasure of opening them.

Not surprisingly, we found ourselves repeating a refrain familiar to parents everywhere during the holidays and at birthday parties:

Slow down!

Take time to look at it!

This is not a race!

What we really meant, of course, is that we want our kids to actually appreciate the gifts they’re given. Birthdays and holidays should be more than just a flurry of presents and torn wrapping paper. Everyone likes receiving gifts, but it’s important that we take the time to acknowledge them.

And, more important still, to be thankful for them.

Saying “thank you” is a great start. Maybe give a hug, if both parties feel so inclined. At the least, we want time to mentally note who gave what so that cards can be sent later.

Fact is, we know that our children appreciate the gifts they’re given. Just as they appreciate the other important parenting roles we play.

When our kids are babies, of course, we don’t expect gratitude. We’re content to be their whole world—for those first few months, anyway. We don’t expect to be thanked for [Read more…]

Change. One of the many things in life that is inevitable. We as adults have learned this through time and experience.

Trying to cope with change can be hard on anyone of any age. But it can be especially hard on little ones.

Big life changes such as a move, divorce, starting school, or any significant change in daily routines can set off a cornucopia of reactions.

I know from personal experience how hard it is on a child and parent alike to cope with change. This past summer was a summer of change for our family. My three year old daughter took to the new changes with open arms, yet my five year old son did not.

My husband had recently landed a new job a few states away and would be gone on business for three weeks at a time. As a result, we decided I should quit my full time job to become a stay at home mom.

Awesome, right?

Well…not at first.

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