A Fine Parent

A Life Skills Blog Exclusively For Parents

Raising Resilient Kids: The 5 Things You Should Stop Doing Right Now

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

raising-resilient-kids main imageAs my two-year-old son was playing on a crowded playground, he made a quick dash to climb up a ladder. I instantly sucked in a deep breath as he lumbered his way awkwardly up the steps. The urge to jump in and help him was strong…but I held back, only staying close by in case something went terribly wrong. 

As he made it to the top of the ladder and turned around to give me a smile, my heart skipped a beat with pride; I was relieved that I had held back and allowed him to figure it out himself. 

It is a natural instinct for parents to want to protect their children from adversity. While my son is young and adversity comes in the form of a playground ladder, I can imagine how this will shift and evolve as my son gets older. Learning basic motor skills and tackling self-care will move to making friends, being successful in school, overcoming peer pressure…and the list just goes on. 

Our children MUST learn how to be resilient in order to find success and overcome the obstacles they will face as a human. If we sweep in to save our children from every bit of difficulty, we actually do them a disservice. We send the message that when life gets tough, someone will always help you out of it and that failure is a scary and negative thing. [Read more…]

Purposeful Conversations: Everyday Ways to Reap the Benefits of Talking With Your Kids

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

How was your day? 

Fine. 

What did you do at school?

Nothing.

Sound familiar? Certainly, we’ve all been there and reading this may give the sudden realization of how automatic these conversations have become. If you are anything like me, the go-to “check-ins” leave little room for elaborating past the normal script after a long and tiring day of school and work. 

It’s not that these conversations are bad or wrong. Rather, they may leave us questioning how much we are missing out on by simply remaining in the conversational status quo.

But…what if we could shift our mindset about conversations with our kids from mundane and repetitive to a powerful and impactful communication tool?

What if we could make the conscious choice to enhance our children’s lives, build their confidence, empathy, creativity, and set them up to thrive long-term…all through our conversations with them?

As a speech-language pathologist, Harvard lecturer, and mom of two kids, I’ve searched high and low for the answers to these questions. I’ve talked to fellow parents, colleagues, psychologists, neuroscientists, counselors, and many others over the past ten years of my work with kids and families to gain insight on the power of conversation. My personal research has uncovered surprising discoveries about the impact that simple conversation can play in the growth and development of our children. [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Communication Tools Masterclass” with Julie King

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

We are now just three weeks away from the Positive Parenting Conference and there is so much goodness to share this year! One masterclass that is a must-watch is with someone with whom many of you are already familiar: Julie King. 

Julie’s book, How to Talk When Kids Won’t Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood, is a thorough and extremely helpful follow up to her earlier gem How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen. Both of Julie’s books give very practical ideas of how to connect with our children and make them feel heard (which, in turn, makes most parenting situations easier). Spoiler alert, this is a really important part of the overall message!

Julie writes with a very personable tone; it often feels like she is sitting in your living room having a chat about parenting. This masterclass has that tone as well–and this time you can be in your living room with Julie right there with you (well, on screen).  

As a highly regarded parenting workshop leader and presenter, Julie has conducted presentations for schools, parents, professional organizations and companies of all sizes for several decades. She is also a dear friend of the AFineParent community and has done numerous live calls within the Academy. 

I was the researcher for this masterclass so I got an early look at all the goodness Julie has to share with us. While there are so many helpful ideas in this class, I decided on three that I hope will give you a little something to think about until you can watch the whole masterclass.  [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Social Skills Masterclass” With Janine Halloran

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

If you’ve been following along with the past few weeks of mini-series articles to prepare for the 2022 Positive Parenting Conference at AFineParent.com, then you have probably felt the energy leap off your screen! The conference literally has something for everyone, regardless of what your family structure looks like, whom you are parenting with, and how many children you may have.

Take, for example, our next highlighted masterclass expert, Janine Halloran. As the Editor-in-Chief and a writer for AFineParent.com, I was so excited to have early access to the Social Skills Masterclass. Janine is a licensed mental health professional who has been working with children and adolescents for 15 years. She is also the author of Social Skills for Kids: Over 75 Fun Games & Activities for Building Better Relationships, Problem Solving & Improving Communication, which was the inspiration for this masterclass. 

Janine makes the immediate point that all children have different innate levels of social awareness, with some having much more natural social skills than others. As a parent of three very socially different children, this was a relief to hear. Although I am a behavior specialist at a special education school by profession, and social skill diversity is not a new topic for me, feeling “okay” with my own children’s diverse social awareness has always been a different story. 

[Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Managing Our Triggers Masterclass” With Dr. Carla Naumburg

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

Some days, I seem to have endless patience with my kids. I can tell them seven times to put on their shoes without rolling my eyes once. I can look at that spilled cup of water and calmly remind them that we all make messes, but we have to clean them up, too. I can take a break from writing every few minutes to read the same book over and over again.

And other days, I’m one thrown toy or one lost sock away from a complete parental meltdown.

But that’s pretty much all of us, right?

In the Managing Our Triggers Masterclass, author and social worker Dr. Carla Naumburg opens up about her book How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids. She helps us to understand why we get triggered so easily some days, how to try to avoid adult meltdowns, and what to do when we realize we have just lost it—or are still mid-meltdown.

I was a researcher for this masterclass and getting the opportunity to read this book and help shape AFineParent’s interview with Dr. Naumburg was quite a blessing. This book is absolutely packed with information that I found relevant in my own life. As a single parent who works outside the home, I definitely have my days where it doesn’t take much to set me off! This masterclass is full of great ideas from Dr. Naumburg’s book that I have already started implementing in my own life.

Wondering what this book—and this masterclass—is all about? Here are three big takeaways to encourage you to give the whole class a go! [Read more…]