Diapers, no sleep, carpool, calls from the school nurse, sports, cooking, yelling, begging, pleading, dating, still no sleep, prom, work, college…

And then, all of a sudden—the nest is empty. The world around you is strangely quiet.

Where did all the time go? Where did my babies go? Will they ever come back to me?

While I know that in life there are no guarantees, I also believe we can raise our kids in a way that, when they get older, there is a good chance they will still love to hang out with us.

My husband and I may have gotten a few things wrong while raising our kids, but we also did a lot right during this time. One of the most important things has been establishing a rock-solid foundation for our relationship with all four of them.

Today, I want to share nine things that I truly believe helped us connect with our kids when they were little—that have helped us stay close even now when they are grown.

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Racing around the house, tensions are mounting, and the clock in my head is ticking louder and louder.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! We’re late! We’re late!

My underlings continue to amaze me with their expert aptitude for crafting new versions of dawdling. Like a leaky bucket, minutes dribble onto the floor behind us.

Sibling conflict is a major culprit today. “Brother isn’t talking to me. He farted and I told him to say, ‘Excuse me’ and he didn’t answer.” Two minutes down the drain as his story painstakingly makes its way into words.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Another two minutes pass as I stand there scratching my head. I don’t even know how to answer him, except to say, “Just put your shoes on.”

The later it gets, the less I am able to cope with the fact that I am still wearing pajamas. Every effort to dress is circumvented. “I don’t like that kind of bread!” “Where is my other shoe?” “Can you get down my lunchbox?” “Can you pay me $2 since I took the dog potty and cleaned my room?” “Mom, this ponytail is fuzzy in the back. Can you redo it?”

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Frustration builds alongside foiled efforts. Tension in my body mounts. Their silky faces, clumsily formed words, squeaky voices, and large, innocent eyes are shamefully inadequate to ward off the volcano preparing to blow.

What happens next is nothing short of a miraculous moment.

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Do you feel your kids need a break from their iPads and other devices that seem to buzz and click all the time?

Do you think their attention span could be better?

British neuroscientist Susan Greenfield is one of the many researchers who’ve unveiled some frightening and disturbing findings about devices and children’s attention spans. As part of the study, UK teachers were surveyed, and 91% of teachers believe that children’s attention spans are getting shorter as most children choose to spend time on their devices rather than reading.

As a busy mom (as we all are), I often don’t prioritize reading time with my kids. As a speech pathologist, I know better and am frequently asking myself to prioritize that special time with my children.

As I was going holiday shopping last year, I saw something absolutely astonishing at the department store. There, sitting on the ground among the heaps of clothing, shoes, and angst-ridden, busy shoppers, was a little boy quietly reading! I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was so focused and engrossed in his book, he didn’t even look up to notice my gawkish stares. I quickly pulled my sister over to see, and she was also stunned. I felt like I was watching some extraordinary and rare behavior on the Discovery Channel. [Read more…]

Why does parenting have to be so complicated!?!

There are so many things to know! And not just know, but to be an expert on. During my almost 12 years of parenting, I feel like I have had to become an executive assistant, strategic planner, dietician, psychologist, nurse, and wizard. (If only that last one came with a wand!)

And I’m constantly searching the Internet for ways I can be a more effective parent. That’s why I go looking for simple and easy tools. I don’t have time for complicated and hard!

I was helping Sumitha summarize the “deep dive” talks for her FREE online Positive Parenting Conference and I found myself jotting down note after note about the simplest things I can do to help get through my most complicated parenting issues.

Like handling school stress. Just last night my oldest called me into his room at bedtime and let out all his anxiety and anger about these Basic Skills Tests that he and his class have been taking for the last 9 days. It turns out that he’s so anxious his feelings are leaking into his relationships with his friends and coming out as anger.

Because of all these amazing experts I was able listen to him and then help him to express his anxiety and reframe these tiffs and hard words with his friends into something not quite so scary. (You’ll read more about all that below!)

I’ve put together a list of these simple tools from 10 amazing experts that helped me with the parenting issues I feel most at-sea about.  I know they will help you, too!

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Here’s a parenting conundrum for you…

Sometimes you chug along… Everything flows smoothly. You are on top of your game. Every time you see your friends struggling with this particular aspect of parenting, you wonder: Why? What is the big deal?

And then there are other times when you just can’t seem to get something right. It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how many new “techniques” you test… some issues that bothered you when your kids were 3, are still issues when they are 13. And you’re just stuck and spinning your wheels.

Case in point: I have a tween. Some days we get along great. He wants to spend time with me. We have deep conversations about what is going on in his life. I’m rejoicing that we have such a close and loving relationship. And then I’m suddenly on a tilt-a-whirl! Suddenly he’s mad and shouting and then I’m shouting and then WHAM! He’s stomped up to his room and slammed the door. It doesn’t matter how many times we go through this, it’s always the same and I just can’t figure out why.

What gives? Why is it that we are so good at a few things, and we suck at others?

Turns out there is a simple explanation – perspective.

I was putting together the summaries for the talks at the FREE online Positive Parenting Conference that Sumitha was working on, and every now and then the speaker would say something that made me go “Aha!”

These are fundamental shifts that knock down some long-held belief or value. Or makes you see things in a completely different light.  It’s these that make the difference between whether we ace an aspect of parenting, or struggle with it endlessly.

I’ve put together a few of these perspective shifts for you to consider. Take a look. Who knows… maybe one of these will transform one of your “I don’t know what to do” items into a “I’ve totally got this” item!

Alright, here we go –

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