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Search Results for: What is

What is the “Mean Girl Problem,” Why You Should Care, and What You Can Do About It

by Leah Porritt.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

mean-girl-problem-main imageI still remember getting my first perm in middle school and smiling from ear to ear when the most popular girl in the school touched my hair and told me it “looked great.” That compliment felt like a rite of passage, at an age where acceptance was constantly sought out by most girls–even at the cost of meanness.

Once I started playing sports, I found a group of girls that were supportive and caring, many of whom I still keep in touch with today. But even while my team gave a sense of belonging, I still witnessed how very real the mean girl problem was. As I look at my young daughter, so devoted and loving to her friends and peers, I can’t help but cringe at the thought of her eventual experience with the mean girl problem.

The National Center for Education Statistics reported in 2019 that an average of 22 percent of students ages 12 to 18 reported being bullied, with girls reporting significantly higher (25.5%) than boys (19.1%). 

Studies show that bullying can occur amongst any gender, race, socio-economic class, and even age (Do you know a bully in adulthood? Yeah, me too). We also know that there is importance in understanding the role that gender stereotypes play in bullying. Gender identity can impact how children adapt and interact with their peers; gender stereotypes can influence bullying as they impact the socialization of children into gender roles. 

Yes, even in 2021, young boys are still socialized to be strong and independent, while females are socialized to be sensitive and understanding. Children who don’t act according to their expected gender roles are at higher risk of bullying by their peers. [Read more…]

What Is Hygge, and How to Make Your Holidays Super Memorable This Year

by Kara Wilson.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

What is Hygge_70507844I want you to take a moment to contemplate this question.

What does ‘togetherness’ mean to you as a family?

What images first come to mind? Was it when you were all snuggled up on the sofa watching a movie on a Saturday night? Was it breastfeeding your baby in the peaceful wee hours? Was it your last holiday in the snow, building a snowman with the kids?

When was the last time you experienced this feeling of togetherness as a family, and how often do you get that associated warm, fuzzy feeling?

There’s probably a good chance that it’s not a regular occurrence. Well, family life is busy. Really busy. Sometimes we’re essentially in survival mode, and need to just get through the day.

And for those with school-aged kids, it’s easy to get caught up on the day-to-day treadmill: the school runs, making school lunches and dinners, after-school activities and homework, weekend classes and birthday parties. There never seems to be any spare time for anything else. It’s overwhelming at times, right?

Or, your situation might be similar to my own. I’m heavily pregnant, and have an active and strong-willed three year-old at home. We’re together seven days a week but I wouldn’t necessarily consider every moment a special time of ‘togetherness’. Often I just dream of ‘aloneness’. I’m sure I’m not a unique parent who longs for that, and that’s totally fine. We’re only human.

Somehow, though, in this fast-paced, overscheduled, consumerist, and digital world that we live in, we seem to have forgotten how to just slow down, relax, and enjoy one another without external distractions. It’s time to be intentional about reversing that.

In this article, we’re going to explore the Danish philosophy called ‘Hygge’ (pronounced ‘hoo-gah’). Although not new in Denmark, it’s the latest wellness trend sweeping the rest of the world, and literally means ‘to cozy around together’.

Doesn’t that sound like a charming notion that we could all get a little more of? It doesn’t sound too hard. The idea focuses on creating a cozy atmosphere at home, such as lighting candles, and doing things together like playing games, having cake and tea, and doing crafts.

And the holiday season is the perfect time of year to Hygge since it’s generally a time celebrated with family and friends. The ultimate aim is to spend time together, leaving problems, technology, and negativity behind and simply having fun as a family.

So, how do we start getting a little Hygge into our lives this holiday season?

Here are some ideas to get started, and to slowly start implementing a little togetherness into your holidays.

[Read more…]

What is Resilience and How to Raise Strong, Resilient Kids

by Edie Jones.
(This article is part of the Strong Kids series. Get free article updates here.)

What is Resilience - Main PicLooking into the face of your newborn is one of the most mesmerizing experiences a parent can have, even when it’s number two, three or four.

There’s nothing that surpasses it! Unless it’s watching them walk up to receive their diploma 18 years later.

The fear of every parent when a new baby comes into their lives is that they won’t measure up to the challenge or be able to provide the kind of life that develops kids capable of being strong, competent adults. How well I remember, even though those years were long ago, and I now watch grandchildren move into the adult world.

Looking back and reflecting on qualities that truly make a difference, I feel there are some that stand out as essential. One of those is RESILIENCE – defined in Raising Resilient Children by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein as the ability to have inner strength to deal competently and successfully with challenges and demands. It is a quality every parent hopes his or her child develops; however, it is one that doesn’t happen automatically. [Read more…]

What is Passive Aggressive Behavior and How To Nip it in the Bud

by Jennifer Poindexter.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

What is Passive Aggressive Behavior - Main Poster“Jacob! Come here, please!”

A few minutes pass…

“Jacob! I need you to come here, please!”

A few more minutes pass… and your patience begins to fade.

“Jacob! I said for you to come here!”

Jacob finally comes out of his room and graces you with his presence. Instead of greeting you with a pleasant, “What’s up, Mom?” you get a, “What, Mom?” In an extremely sullen tone.

Your blood begins to boil! You realize these annoyed tones and snide remarks are becoming the new normal in your relationship.

You begin to ask yourself, “What have I done to him that makes him want to treat me this way?”

A simple answer is you have done nothing in this particular moment.

A more detailed answer is your child is angry. He or she may not even know why they are so angry. They are just angry.

That is where you come in. As an adult, you have to recognize and name the problem. ‘Name it to tame it’ as they say.

And in this particular case, the problem’s name is Passive Aggressive Behavior.

According to Wikipedia:

Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, stubbornness, sullen behavior, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

Your child does not have to fall victim to this nasty little habit of showing passive aggressive behavior. They can cope and understand what is going on within themselves. They can learn to express what is going on inside of them. And grow up to be mature and emotionally intelligent adults… with your help!

Here is how you help your child give passive aggressive behavior the boot!

[Read more…]

What Is Grit, Why Kids Need It, and How You Can Foster It

by Jenny Williams.
(This article is part of the Building Character series. Get free article updates here.)

You’ve probably heard the word grit mentioned several times in the recent years in the context of raising kids who go on to fulfill their potential.

While the word grit may conjure images of Rocky Balboa or Dirty Harry, in the past decade or so it has taken on a whole new meaning that has stolen the attention of parents and educators alike.

That’s because according to University of Pennsylvania psychologist and MacArthur ‘genius’ Angela Duckworth, grit, defined as a child’s “perseverance and passion for long-term goals,” is a better indicator of future earnings and happiness than either IQ or talent.

Today’s mounting research on grit suggests that your child’s ability to work hard, endure struggle, fail, and try again may be the key to determining his or her long-term success and happiness.

So, What Is Grit and Why Does it Matter?

When we are in pursuit of a lofty goal, we don’t know when or even whether we will succeed. Until we do.

Grit is a distinct combination of passion, resilience, determination, and focus that allows a person to maintain the discipline and optimism to persevere in their goals even in the face of discomfort, rejection, and a lack of visible progress for years, or even decades.

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Through extensive research, Angela Duckworth and her team have proven that the common denominator among spelling bee finalists, successful West Point cadets, salespeople and teachers who not only stick with, but improve in their performance, is grit.

And according to study after study, people who are smart, talented, kind, curious, and come from stable, loving homes, generally don’t succeed if they don’t know how to work hard, remain committed to their goals, and persevere through struggles and failure.

Can We Foster Grit in Children and How?

As word of Duckworth’s research has spread, grit has become a hot topic in education and parenting circles, and supporters want to know how to build grit in children. Although Duckworth herself says she doesn’t know definitively how to increase grit in young people, she is hopeful it can be taught, and she and her team are working with researchers and schools across the country to find out how.

In 2004 and 2006, Duckworth and a team of researchers tested the grit and self-control of several thousand incoming West Point cadets before their first summer at school. The summer program, known as “Beast Barracks,” is designed to push cadets to their mental and emotional limits, so much so that about 1 in 20 cadets drops out.

[Read more…]

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Fair Warning: While none of this is professional advice, it is powerful stuff and could potentially change your life!
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