Doesn’t it sometimes feel like it’s impossible to be a parent and not multitask?

As the mother of two very active children, aged 7 and 3, multitasking is not only a necessary evil, but crucial to me. When you add in the fact that I opened my own one-woman court reporting firm in July 2015, plus I have a host of health issues, things become much more difficult.

My husband is not only understanding, but does more than the average bear around our home. That doesn’t change the fact that, as Mom (Momma, MOMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!, MOTHER!), I do 90% of the listening-to-every-sound-and-analyzing-it-for-potential-likelihood-to-cause-death-or-dismemberment / organizing of activities & rides to and from activities / generalized and often unnecessary worrying around here.

And since I work from home, I also do a great deal of the housework.

All of this obviously requires a heck of a lot of multitasking.

I need to be able to change a diaper while I listen to my older child’s long – and I mean, like, I’m-not-gonna-be-able-to-attend-your-4^th-of-July-party-because-I’ll-still-be-listening-to-this-story-my-7-year-old-is-telling-me long – story about some kid I’ve never heard of who pushed down some other kid I’ve never heard of, the story ending with, “And then my hand started to hurt,” which has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything she previously said, and I have to be able to convincingly feign understanding while avoiding being peed on by the diaperless one.

And I know I’m not alone.

In a lot of parenting situations, multitasking is completely unavoidable.  [Read more…]

We recently had another family over for dinner when my three-year-old decided to pass around her latest “art project” – a piece of construction paper that was supposed to resemble a fruit roll-up.

One by one, our guests put down their forks and politely examined her art, praised it, even pretended to eat it.

Why is it so wet? I asked when it was my turn.

I dipped it in the toilet, she whispered.

I probably should have leapt right into action, hauled our industrial-sized tank of hand sanitizer up from the basement.

But I just sat there, toilet water dripping from my hands, the writer-in-me already imagining what a great story this was going to make.

Writing Makes Us More Mindful

When Sumitha invited me to write a guest post for this site, I was immediately filled with existential angst. I’ve always found the articles on this blog to be enormously helpful, but poets aren’t exactly known for offering highly practical or actionable advice.

[Read more…]

Did you ever notice how pregnant women and parents with little kids seem to naturally attract all kinds of unsolicited advice?

When I was pregnant, so many people told me, “Try to enjoy your child. You’ll be amazed at how quickly the time goes.”

What exactly does that even mean?

I wondered for a bit, but ultimately like so much other unwarranted wisdom sent my way in those long months of pregnancy, I cast it aside.

And, for the first three months of her life, I did think that I was enjoying my daughter.

It’s true, I was a bit anxious to get back to work and to taming the garden, and the holidays were just around the corner, and… well, there was always something.

Sometimes, I would even think to myself, how exactly does one enjoy the 3 a.m. shrieking that never ends, the explosive diapers, the teething that gets worse with every tooth?

However, I remember clearly the moment when everything changed.

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Have you ever tried practicing mindfulness?

It can be wonderful — experiences flow over you, making you see new beauty in familiar things. And taking that moment to just see what’s going on can change your whole outlook.

Even in your less-than-proud moments, stepping back and paying attention makes a world of difference — not just for your plans to do better in the future, but for your mood in the moment.

When you really notice that you feel like shouting at your baby for once again head-butting you instead of just going to sleep already, come on, we’re all exhausted — no, sorry, that’s me!

When I’m really noticing, though, I can be a little calmer, a little less frustrated, just because I’ve acknowledged my own frustration.

Well, that’s the problem, though, isn’t it?

That pesky “when I’m really noticing.”

It’s so, so hard to stop in the middle of an emotional reaction and see what’s going on.

Routines and habits can help with this. This blog is full of strategies and success stories for establishing routines and habits

But, I have a confession to make. Every week, I read the article on AFP. Most weeks, I like the strategies suggested and think about implementing them. Many weeks, I really do spend the two minutes on the 2-Minute Action Plan, and put longer-term plans on my to-do list.

Then my coffee break is over, and I go back to work, and by the time I get home I’m thinking about something else, and it’s only at bedtime that I remember the new strategy I was going to try.

It’s so frustrating!

How then can a busy parent get this mindfulness thing started?

I’d like to share with you 3 mindfulness techniques (hacks, actually) that worked for me. Nobody really talks about these techniques (maybe because they are hacks?), but they are so effective. And simple. And just perfect for parents like you and me who want to change/improve but… well, you know the rest of that story already.

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