One moment you’re holding your tiny newborn in your arms and the next you’re driving him to college.

Time goes by quickly during parenthood. Over the course of a few years, our kids go from being completely dependent on us to living on their own.

It leaves us, as parents, wondering: will they be ready to venture into the world without us?

Every year, hundreds of teens leave home unprepared for living on their own. While this may mean they don’t know how to do their own laundry, it also means they don’t know how to problem-solve, handle failure, and generally act like a responsible adult.

For some teens, it’s just a matter of maturity. They’re simply not developmentally ready to jump into independent living.

For others, it’s more a matter of preparation. They’ve never had the chance to exercise the skills needed to be independent.

Over the years, adults have taken care of them – managed their schedule, cleaned their room, done their laundry…the list goes on.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to ensure they’re self-sufficient when they leave home. Some kids will arrive at self-sufficiency on their own, but most need a little extra help to make their way. Similar to other skills (such as reading or math), the majority of kids need coaching and practice to achieve independence. [Read more…]

Over the last few years I have been blessed to witness my son do some amazing things that I admittedly would not have been able to do at the same age.

For example, his school held an evening lecture, and my son was asked to introduce the guest speaker in an auditorium filled with fellow students and parents. He calmly walked up to the podium and clearly read a lengthy introduction. Then he greeted the speaker with a firm handshake and took his seat in the audience.

If he was nervous, it didn’t show! I was wowed by his ability to rise to the challenge placed before him with such ease and grace.

It got me thinking — since I am not always confident — how is that I (and my husband) raised such a strong, confident child?

I reflected back to all the areas where we have specifically focused our attention over the years and concluded that a multi-disciplinary approach has been key to helping our son succeed in building self-confidence, inner strength and self-reliance. Our approach has focused on three primary areas: physical, mental and emotional.

As the saying goes, “A three-legged stool will not wobble!”

[Read more…]

While on a long-distance call with my adult daughter, our conversation came to a screeching halt when I heard the words “I was molested.”

I couldn’t believe what I’d heard and I didn’t want to ask her to repeat it. I had no words. Then after a few seconds, my daughter asked, “Mom, are you there?”

So many questions were going through my mind. How did this happen? When could this have happened? Who was it? Why didn’t I know or see any signs?

And more crushing was the fact that it was too late for me to do anything about it.

I thought I had been careful in raising her, and I found it hard to believe that this tragedy could possibly have happened. But, unbeknownst to me, my child had been robbed of her childhood. A door of sexuality had been opened too early. As a little girl, she saw and experienced what she should not have.

I began to imagine what she might have gone through mentally and emotionally. We were a faith-based family who believed and taught that sex was reserved for marriage. We believed that complying with certain faith-based principles was a pathway to success, peace and blessings.

Yet, this happened. [Read more…]

I am about to send a kid to college and become an “empty nester.” I have been asked frequently, mostly by parents with much younger children, “What does it feel like to be crossing the finish line?”  

What does it feel like? 

Well, it feels a lot like that first sleepless night at home with the baby, and it feels like letting them ride a bike around the block, alone. It feels like dropping them off at a brand-new school where they don’t know anyone, and it feels like handing over the car keys for the first time.

Parenthood has so many firsts, but nearing that “finish line,” I can safely say the feeling of every first is pretty much the same: anticipation, pride, happiness, hope and a little parental fear, all mixed together.

In other words, sending your kid to college is a lot like all the milestone moments you parent a child through, and let’s be real…It seems like, more than ever, parenthood is often fraught with an increasing array of anxiety, fear, educated guesses and risk analysis!

But, don’t worry. I have advice garnered by extensive research and some real life experiences to help you navigate and quell those parental fears and anxiety so you can enjoy more anticipation, joy and happiness — whether you just brought your bundle of joy home for the first time or are dropping your teen off at college.

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Lawnmower parenting.

Isn’t it a cool term? Wait till you know what it means.

Lawnmower parenting is when parents turn into ninjas for their children and mow down every obstacle or challenge that could possibly occur in their lives so that their precious little ones don’t have to face even a tiny bit of discomfort.

Of course, it is only natural for parents to be protective of their children and to shield them from problems. But this instinct itself turns into a problem that could rob the children of their resilience. You and I have done it, albeit unknowingly, in our earnestness to give our children the best possible upbringing. [Read more…]