A Fine Parent

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The Power of a Schedule: 3 Simple Steps to Encourage Better Organizational Skills

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

organizational-skill main imageComing home from work at six in the evening, I stared in dismay as I stepped into my daughter’s room. Her school books lay untouched and her room looked as though a cyclone had recently touched base. 

“What is this?” I tried (unsuccessfully) not to shout. “Didn’t I call and tell you to finish your school work and tidy your room before I returned?” 

My 11-year-old daughter looked confused. 

“Oh, yes…,” my daughter said, looking around the room as though someone had just shone a light on it. “I didn’t remember…” she said softly.

What am I doing wrong, I thought? Why is it so difficult for my daughter to remember a few simple chores? Now that school had shifted back to in-person mode, was it getting too tough for my child to collect and retain everything that needed to be done? Why was my daughter so scattered that she could not complete simple organizational tasks- even when I asked her to do them?

As frustrating as it may feel to watch our child’s disorganization interfere with their success, it is most likely not due to a lack of motivation. Dr. Peg Dawson, a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of “Smart but Scattered Kids,” reminds us that children are still developing the executive skills needed to be organized.

Executive skills are the brain-based processes that help children regulate their behavior and set and achieve goals. Executive skills are managed in the frontal lobe of the brain and while they begin to develop shortly after birth, they will take up to 25 years to mature!  [Read more…]

Purposeful Conversations: Everyday Ways to Reap the Benefits of Talking With Your Kids

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

How was your day? 

Fine. 

What did you do at school?

Nothing.

Sound familiar? Certainly, we’ve all been there and reading this may give the sudden realization of how automatic these conversations have become. If you are anything like me, the go-to “check-ins” leave little room for elaborating past the normal script after a long and tiring day of school and work. 

It’s not that these conversations are bad or wrong. Rather, they may leave us questioning how much we are missing out on by simply remaining in the conversational status quo.

But…what if we could shift our mindset about conversations with our kids from mundane and repetitive to a powerful and impactful communication tool?

What if we could make the conscious choice to enhance our children’s lives, build their confidence, empathy, creativity, and set them up to thrive long-term…all through our conversations with them?

As a speech-language pathologist, Harvard lecturer, and mom of two kids, I’ve searched high and low for the answers to these questions. I’ve talked to fellow parents, colleagues, psychologists, neuroscientists, counselors, and many others over the past ten years of my work with kids and families to gain insight on the power of conversation. My personal research has uncovered surprising discoveries about the impact that simple conversation can play in the growth and development of our children. [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Social Skills Masterclass” With Janine Halloran

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

If you’ve been following along with the past few weeks of mini-series articles to prepare for the 2022 Positive Parenting Conference at AFineParent.com, then you have probably felt the energy leap off your screen! The conference literally has something for everyone, regardless of what your family structure looks like, whom you are parenting with, and how many children you may have.

Take, for example, our next highlighted masterclass expert, Janine Halloran. As the Editor-in-Chief and a writer for AFineParent.com, I was so excited to have early access to the Social Skills Masterclass. Janine is a licensed mental health professional who has been working with children and adolescents for 15 years. She is also the author of Social Skills for Kids: Over 75 Fun Games & Activities for Building Better Relationships, Problem Solving & Improving Communication, which was the inspiration for this masterclass. 

Janine makes the immediate point that all children have different innate levels of social awareness, with some having much more natural social skills than others. As a parent of three very socially different children, this was a relief to hear. Although I am a behavior specialist at a special education school by profession, and social skill diversity is not a new topic for me, feeling “okay” with my own children’s diverse social awareness has always been a different story. 

[Read more…]

How Following My Dream Made Me a Better Parent

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(This article is part of the Inspiring Stories series. Get free article updates here.)

There’s a moment in our lives as moms when dreams—especially the wildest and most audacious dreams blooming in our heads—become meant for our children, not for us.

Google “follow your dreams,” and you’ll get hundreds of thousands of results—all suitable for framing or available as a stencil for your baby’s nursery wall. 

“Follow your dreams, believe in yourself, and don’t give up.” -Rachel Corrie

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney

“Don’t dream it, be it.” -The Rocky Horror Picture Show

I’m not sure when I forgot I was also supposed to have dreams. Maybe it was when I had my first child. Maybe it was when most of my daily focus was spent doing laundry and washing dishes. Maybe it was when my husband began getting bigger and juicier assignments and I needed to take over more of the management of the household. It’s a mystery, but it did happen.

And I know I’m not alone. [Read more…]

3 Key Takeaways From the “Non-Anxious Parenting Masterclass” With Dr. William Stixrud

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(This article is part of the PPC 2022 series. Get free article updates here.)

In less than a month, the fantastic and free Positive Parenting Conference 2022 will be available to parents and educators once again! As a member and writer for the AFineParent Academy, I was thrilled to be given early access to the Non-Anxious Parenting Masterclass with Dr. William Stixrud.

Dr. Stixrud is a co-author of What Do You Say? How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance and a Happy Home.  He is a clinical psychologist, has a doctorate degree in educational psychology and is a faculty member at the Children’s National Medical Center. 

I found this masterclass incredibly encouraging, especially now when child anxiety is at an all-time high. This session will resonate with many parents across the globe as so many of us have been impacted by similar challenges during the pandemic and shutdown that have contributed to increased anxiety. 

In particular, I learned how best to respond when my instinct is to ‘fix’ whatever challenge my children are facing; how to encourage a non-anxious home environment by reducing unintentionally anxiety-inducing questions; and how to put exams into perspective and focus on the importance of living a fulfilled, meaningful life. 

Without further ado, here are my top three takeaways! [Read more…]