Blog - A Fine Parent

How to Keep Your Child Safe When Outdoors This Summer

by guest_author.
(This article is part of the Healthy Families series. Get free article updates here.)

keep_kids_safe_summer The summer is undoubtedly a testing time for any parent. While it’s great to see your child spending time exploring the great outdoors, it’s fair to say the sudden rise in temperature brings with it a unique set of challenges.

My little one, in particular, seems to be in the wars at this time of the year. The sudden rush of adrenaline he seems to get from playing outdoors quickly fades away, thanks to the zapping heat. If I don’t keep my eyes on him at all times, he’s an accident waiting to happen.

The good news, however, is that there are a number of preliminary steps that I’ve learnt to take over the years that have helped make the season much less stressful.

To help your little ones avoid any seasonal mishaps, I’ve brought together five of the most important things to take into consideration during the summer below:

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10 Simple Tools From Parenting and Psychology Experts That Will Make You a Better Parent

by Mindy Carlson.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

Why does parenting have to be so complicated!?!

There are so many things to know! And not just know, but to be an expert on. During my almost 12 years of parenting, I feel like I have had to become an executive assistant, strategic planner, dietician, psychologist, nurse, and wizard. (If only that last one came with a wand!)

And I’m constantly searching the Internet for ways I can be a more effective parent. That’s why I go looking for simple and easy tools. I don’t have time for complicated and hard!

I was helping Sumitha summarize the “deep dive” talks for her FREE online Positive Parenting Conference and I found myself jotting down note after note about the simplest things I can do to help get through my most complicated parenting issues.

Like handling school stress. Just last night my oldest called me into his room at bedtime and let out all his anxiety and anger about these Basic Skills Tests that he and his class have been taking for the last 9 days. It turns out that he’s so anxious his feelings are leaking into his relationships with his friends and coming out as anger.

Because of all these amazing experts I was able listen to him and then help him to express his anxiety and reframe these tiffs and hard words with his friends into something not quite so scary. (You’ll read more about all that below!)

I’ve put together a list of these simple tools from 10 amazing experts that helped me with the parenting issues I feel most at-sea about. I know they will help you, too!

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6 Simple Perspective Shifts that Will Transform Your Parenting

by Mindy Carlson.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

Here’s a parenting conundrum for you…

Sometimes you chug along… Everything flows smoothly. You are on top of your game. Every time you see your friends struggling with this particular aspect of parenting, you wonder: Why? What is the big deal?

And then there are other times when you just can’t seem to get something right. It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how many new “techniques” you test… some issues that bothered you when your kids were 3, are still issues when they are 13. And you’re just stuck and spinning your wheels.

Case in point: I have a tween. Some days we get along great. He wants to spend time with me. We have deep conversations about what is going on in his life. I’m rejoicing that we have such a close and loving relationship. And then I’m suddenly on a tilt-a-whirl! Suddenly he’s mad and shouting and then I’m shouting and then WHAM! He’s stomped up to his room and slammed the door. It doesn’t matter how many times we go through this, it’s always the same and I just can’t figure out why.

What gives? Why is it that we are so good at a few things, and we suck at others?

Turns out there is a simple explanation – perspective.

I was putting together the summaries for the talks at the FREE online Positive Parenting Conference that Sumitha was working on, and every now and then the speaker would say something that made me go “Aha!”

These are fundamental shifts that knock down some long-held belief or value. Or makes you see things in a completely different light. It’s these that make the difference between whether we ace an aspect of parenting, or struggle with it endlessly.

I’ve put together a few of these perspective shifts for you to consider. Take a look. Who knows… maybe one of these will transform one of your “I don’t know what to do” items into a “I’ve totally got this” item!

Alright, here we go –

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How to Get a Strong-Willed Child to Listen (Without Crushing Their Spirit)

by Emily Learing.
(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

Here you are again, right in the middle of a public place, judgmental eyes glaring at you as you (not so) patiently wait to see if your strong-willed child follows your simple request.

As is pretty typical for the way your life seems to be going today (or this week, or this year!) your simple request is ignored—yet again—even though you put a significant amount of time and energy into trying to prevent this from happening in the first place.

You’re exhausted.

You’re frustrated.

You can’t believe that you have to put this much effort into a simple request like asking your kid to stay near you at the store!

What makes matters worse is the not-so-subtle glares of judgment and criticism by the people around you who magically seem to know how to raise your kid, even though they don’t know you or your kid at all.

You can just guess what they’re thinking about you…

Doesn’t she have any control over her kid?

I can’t believe she lets her kid act like that. My kids will never act like that!

Isn’t she going to do something to let her kid know who’s the boss?!

And even though you’ve vowed a million times that you don’t care what they think, that you will parent positively—the way you want to—you find yourself questioning whether you’re a good mom.

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How to Raise Kids Who Are Comfortable Exercising Consent

by Dani Gutierrez.
(This article is part of the Strong Kids series. Get free article updates here.)

I think we’ve all been there: the big family gathering filled with aunts and uncles, cousins and second cousins that you haven’t seen in ages, everyone laughing and catching up, the sounds of kids shrieking with playful laughter competing with the happy sound of adults catching up after far too long apart.

If your family is anything like mine, these events are littered with hugs, kisses, and kids roughhousing with each other all over the place.

It’s very happy chaos.

As an adult, I always look forward to the opportunity to connect with my relatives, see how all of the little ones have grown and changed, and relax around my support network.

However, as a child… I often dreaded these types of events.

There was always one uncle who insisted on giving me a kiss, even if I tried to wiggle away from his scratchy beard, an aunt who hugged me a little too long and too tightly for comfort, or a cousin who played a little too rough, even when I didn’t want him to.

And my parents always kept encouraging me to go give another hug or kiss to a relative I didn’t remember or particularly want to be physically close to.

What I learned when my parents made me tolerate unwanted hugs and kisses and told me that Cousin Johnny was being rough “because that’s what boys do” and I had to ”learn to deal with it” and what I later struggled with as an adult was that my “No” — my lack of consent — didn’t matter.

My parents unintentionally taught me to internalize the belief that what I wanted or didn’t want to happen to my body was not as important as the wants of those around me.

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