“Jacob, do you know how important reading comprehension is? Do you know how important becoming a good writer can be to your future?”

He stares at me blankly.

“Well, let me tell you. No matter what you do, you’ll need to understand what you read and convey a clear thought in writing. I can’t think of one profession where those things won’t matter.”

Some days, he continues to stare at me blankly.

On others, he quickly responds with a “Yeah, Ok. OK!!” in that exasperated voice of his that conveys he’ll agree with whatever I say just to keep me from launching into more nagging and lecturing.

Jacob loves math and science. However, when it comes to language arts, he is totally uninterested. And I lecture and nag to drive home the point that this stuff really matters.

In reality though, he probably just hears “blah, blah, blah.”

No matter how much I harp, nothing I say seems to get through.

So, what do we do, parents? There are so many important issues that we want to talk to our kids about, but if everything we say just goes into one ear and out the other and completely bypasses the brain, what good will it achieve?

Here’s what I’ve found out –

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We live in a world where sport and competitiveness is all around us and it often starts at a young age.

Think about your family: How much time is spent going to and from practices and games with your kid(s)? How much time do you spend watching or following sport and cheering on your favorite teams?

Though early sport involvement is usually about having fun and developing sport skills, it doesn’t take long for participation to become competitive (and time consuming).

If you head to your local park or sporting field on the weekend, you can likely find little kids (as young as 3 and 4) involved in team sports, with parents on the sideline cheering for their child and his or her team. Parents, coaches and kids cheer when goals are made and points are earned; high fives, hugs and congratulations are given to the winners and with good sportsmanship, hopefully there is respect for the “losers.”

Is all this competition at such an early age good for our kids? The jury is still out on this. And we’re not going to get to the bottom of that argument anytime soon.

In the meantime though, competition continues to be a prevalent part of the fabric of our everyday lives.

What can we parents do?

For one, we can ensure that our response to it all does not unintentionally encourage a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset.

What Do We Mean by “Fixed” and “Growth” Mindset?

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You know what they say about too much of a good thing?

Yeah, that’s kind of what visiting grandparents is like for us.

Every summer and winter holiday we go to the Midwest for a long visit with both sets of grandparents.

My kids love it. Which isn’t surprising at all considering how much both our parents love spoiling grandchildren.

My kids eat more ice cream in those few weeks than they do all year round. They’re allowed to stay up late. They consume more television than is humanly possible. They play all day, every day.

On one hand, it’s lovely. I love that my kids get to do this.

But it also drives me crazy.  No homework gets done. Kids are tired and cranky from missing bedtimes and getting up early. Vegetables are a distant memory.

And I end up with the unsavory task of wrestling things back to normal when we get back home.

Time at Grandma and Grandpa’s is special. It should be. I don’t want to get in the way of that.

At the same time, I don’t like how out of balance my parenting feels by the end of the trip.

So, for the past couple of years now, I’ve been trying out a few tricks to make the most of the fact that my kids have such wonderful grandparents, while at the same keeping it from straining my own relationship with my parents, or my kids.

Here are 4 things that have really helped:

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