A Fine Parent

A Life Skills Blog Exclusively For Parents

100 Easy Ways to Connect with Your Children

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

100 Easy Ways to Connect with Your ChildrenDoesn’t it sometimes catch you by surprise how hectic our world has become?

We’re running all over the place, scheduled to the absolute limit of space and time. There are some days when I have been so busy it has taken me until 4 pm to notice that my kiddos still have a smear of breakfast Nutella on their faces!

It makes me worry. Life, for all of us, is only going to get busier and busier. And If I can’t even find time to really look at them for breakfast smears, how on earth am I going to stay connected to them as they grow up??

Thankfully, with just a little bit of intentional action, there are lots of easy ways for us to stay connected with our kids.

I’ve made a list of 100 of these. Many of them only take about 10 minutes of real, quality time, and some not even that. Doing just a few of these everyday will create a deep and meaningful connection that will keep us bonded together despite our hectic lives.

Bookmark this page and come back to it often to spark up some new ideas in your mind to stay connected throughout the year. OK, here we go – [Read more…]

How to Make the Most of Visiting Grandparents Who Love Spoiling Grandchildren

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

Spoiling grandchildren - main picYou know what they say about too much of a good thing?

Yeah, that’s kind of what visiting grandparents is like for us.

Every summer and winter holiday we go to the Midwest for a long visit with both sets of grandparents.

My kids love it. Which isn’t surprising at all considering how much both our parents love spoiling grandchildren.

My kids eat more ice cream in those few weeks than they do all year round. They’re allowed to stay up late. They consume more television than is humanly possible. They play all day, every day.

On one hand, it’s lovely. I love that my kids get to do this.

But it also drives me crazy.  No homework gets done. Kids are tired and cranky from missing bedtimes and getting up early. Vegetables are a distant memory.

And I end up with the unsavory task of wrestling things back to normal when we get back home.

Time at Grandma and Grandpa’s is special. It should be. I don’t want to get in the way of that.

At the same time, I don’t like how out of balance my parenting feels by the end of the trip.

So, for the past couple of years now, I’ve been trying out a few tricks to make the most of the fact that my kids have such wonderful grandparents, while at the same keeping it from straining my own relationship with my parents, or my kids.

Here are 4 things that have really helped:

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What is Resilience and How to Raise Strong, Resilient Kids

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(This article is part of the Strong Kids series. Get free article updates here.)

What is Resilience - Main PicLooking into the face of your newborn is one of the most mesmerizing experiences a parent can have, even when it’s number two, three or four.

There’s nothing that surpasses it! Unless it’s watching them walk up to receive their diploma 18 years later.

The fear of every parent when a new baby comes into their lives is that they won’t measure up to the challenge or be able to provide the kind of life that develops kids capable of being strong, competent adults. How well I remember, even though those years were long ago, and I now watch grandchildren move into the adult world.

Looking back and reflecting on qualities that truly make a difference, I feel there are some that stand out as essential. One of those is RESILIENCE – defined in Raising Resilient Children by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein as the ability to have inner strength to deal competently and successfully with challenges and demands. It is a quality every parent hopes his or her child develops; however, it is one that doesn’t happen automatically. [Read more…]

How to Transform Terrible Preschool Behavior with Positive Guidance

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(This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here.)

How to Transform Terrible Preschool Behavior with Positive GuidanceWhen my son was just four years old, he loved to investigate things around the house. He spent hours each day opening, spilling, touching, shuffling, dumping and tinkering. There was a lot he wanted to learn about and play with.

Sometimes he made choices which were not necessarily in line with my expectations. One time, while coloring, he broke a few magic markers open. He wanted to “catch the colors” hiding inside, he explained.

Children need time to play, tinker and discover. This is vital to growing and developing well. Very often in this playful process young children create messes and make mistakes. Having a safe home in which to make mistakes is vital to growing well. It is also important to the child that as parents we offer them guidance, limits and clear boundaries.

Children don’t really need to be told how to play or supervision that mimics a hovering helicopter. Children do however need to know that they can count on us, without a doubt, to provide them guidance and safety.

Gentle guidance or positive discipline is about honoring the needs of the child while providing safety, connection and confident leadership.

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