I met a special girl the other day. Her name is Violet and she is 6.

Violet’s age and diminutive size wouldn’t mark her a leader, but her future undoubtedly includes some leadership—and she will excel at it.

She wasn’t telling people where to go or how to do things. She wasn’t pushy or loud, either.

Violet simply sat there with her mom and pointed out all the things she liked about the people around her. “I like your bag!” she told the older lady next to her. To me—“I love your blue hair!”

Everyone Violet spoke to – which was anyone near her – went away smiling. Her “soft” leadership skill of finding and calling out the best in others will take this little one far if her mother continues to encourage it.

I have read at least 50 books in the past three years on the subject of leadership. It comes with the territory of pursuing a doctorate on the subject. Yet the most important aspect of what I’m studying might not be addressed at all—how do we train tomorrow’s leaders—our kids?

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Life seems to get busier and more stressful by the day.

Sometimes, days go by and you realize you haven’t had a chance to sit down and chat and connect with your child in a meaningful way.

Mornings are a rush to get to school, carpooling involves a van full of friends teasing or bickering or lost on their devices, weekends are full of extracurriculars, evenings mean homework, and dinners, while often the best time for connecting, more frequently devolve into complaints about the food and cajoling one more bite.

How do we slow things down, even for an hour?

One answer is to intentionally incorporate creative activities for children into your schedule through simple art projects.

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“Mommy! Why can I not open my eyes when I look at the sun?

Why do I always have to sleep early, when you can stay up late?

Momma, why does the water not flow up the mountain ever?

Doesn’t the moon hate the sun for hiding it in the daytime?

Why is my hair straight and Dad’s curly?

Why can I not fly like the birds?”

Have you also had your share of the endless questions with limited unsatisfactory answers for your little ones? Did you ever think of hiding behind the couch like me seeing your little one in a questioning mode?

It’s payback time! But don’t worry! I’ll make sure it is fun for everyone!

It’s your turn to put some interesting questions to your kids. Because when you put a thoughtful question to your child, it zaps on her thinking mode automatically. And when young minds think, analyze or introspect, they learn best and grow up to be resourceful adults who can think out of the box and survive in any situation.

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When I was a kid, summer was freedom.

My family occasionally took a vacation to some nearby destination, like San Diego or Pismo Beach, but for the most part, we were left to our own devices, told to “just go play” or take a dip in the backyard pool.

We raced each other into the house, our hair waterlogged and our skin bronzed or maybe a little burned. We dropped our towels on the floor and stood with arms spread wide in front of the swamp cooler until our goose-bumped bodies could take no more.

My brother and I weren’t “free-range” children, by any means, but we were carefree and even a little bored every now and then.

There were homemade popsicles and unprofitable lemonade stands; there was digging for rocks in the bottom of the creek bed; there was riding the tire swing like there was nothing more important in the world.

And, in truth, there wasn’t.

Summer revolved around the most unimportant things imaginable, but they were everything to us. What made my childhood summers so memorable was that they truly felt like time off from the real world, like a vacation not only from school but also a reprieve from constant activities and the watchful eye of my parents.

When I had my own kids, I tried to replicate that feeling of freedom that comes with warm weather and no homework, but I wasn’t terribly successful.

I organized playdates and arranged to meet friends at the public pool—but only on Fridays because the other days of the week the kids attended music class or science camp. I greased up my three girls with sunscreen and watched them play in the sandbox for thirty minutes—but then remembered they had ballet or karate or swim lessons. Playtime was over.

As a modern-day mom, this was “freedom” for my kids: I provided them with minuscule pockets of playtime, but I master-minded nearly every moment. We were all exhausted by the time school started in August.

So, as modern parents who have a lot to juggle and multi-task, how can we strike a balance between the nonchalant “just-be-home-for-dinner” attitude many of our own parents employed and the micro-management some of us tend toward now? And if our kids are so used to our over-parenting, how can we raise an independent child that can enjoy a summer of creativity and curiosity, without them whining “I’m bored” all the time?

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At a recent youth retreat my 12-year-old nephew, Joey, was called up on stage along with four other preteens. Each participant had a box of tissues set in front of them. They were told, “at the word GO your challenge is to be the first person to remove all the tissues from the box. The winner will receive a large box of candy.”

At Go, four of the middle schoolers began to frantically remove the tissues from the box, one at a time. Joey, looking puzzled, watched his frenzied competitors for a moment, picked up his box, ripped off the top and pulled all the tissues out at once. Done!

When I asked him later how he came up with that idea he said, “It was the fastest way to get them out of the box.”

Critical thinking – being able to look at a problem, analyze it, and come up with a creative and effective solution – is one of the most important skills our children can learn. Critical and creative thinking skills help us make good decisions and solve problems. Those children with good critical thinking skills will be more successful as adults.

Joey saw the problem, thought outside the box, and emptied his box to receive his reward.  So how do we raise kids who think like this? How do we raise kids who can look at a situation and come up with creative and alternative ways to address it?

Here are 3 easy ways you can encourage critical and creative problem solving in your own kids.

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