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Watching a child learn and grow is truly a pleasure; each day, parents are delighted as their child discovers new experiences, develops new skills, and comes to understand more about the world around her.

During these precious early years, parents wish to do everything in their power to enhance their child’s learning and give her all she needs to be successful both personally and academically.

Fortunately, there is good news for hopeful parents: Intelligence is more malleable and dynamic than was previously thought, meaning that there’s a great deal parents can do to encourage their children to excel intellectually. Understanding the mind of your child, with all of its unique aptitudes, can unlock potential far beyond that which can be measured by IQ tests.

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You were hoping to get through this simple errand without any misbehavior from your strong-willed child, but — as usual — here you are again, in a public situation with a child who isn’t quite meeting your expectations for public behavior.

Now what?

From your experience, every time you try to correct your child’s behavior, it turns into an epic power struggle and you tend to find yourself on the losing end most of the time. And that’s the last thing you want right now with all of these judgemental onlookers watching your every move.

When faced with the unique challenge of raising a strong-willed child, you may find yourself wondering what on earth you can even say to your child to help achieve your goal of improving that behavior, without turning the conversation into a seemingly never ending battle of wills, with no real solution in sight.

You may frequently wonder, why does a simple request such as, “Please stop that” have to turn into such a battle? Can’t he just do what I’ve asked of him like a child is supposed to do?

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Racing around the house, tensions are mounting, and the clock in my head is ticking louder and louder.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! We’re late! We’re late!

My underlings continue to amaze me with their expert aptitude for crafting new versions of dawdling. Like a leaky bucket, minutes dribble onto the floor behind us.

Sibling conflict is a major culprit today. “Brother isn’t talking to me. He farted and I told him to say, ‘Excuse me’ and he didn’t answer.” Two minutes down the drain as his story painstakingly makes its way into words.

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Another two minutes pass as I stand there scratching my head. I don’t even know how to answer him, except to say, “Just put your shoes on.”

The later it gets, the less I am able to cope with the fact that I am still wearing pajamas. Every effort to dress is circumvented. “I don’t like that kind of bread!” “Where is my other shoe?” “Can you get down my lunchbox?” “Can you pay me $2 since I took the dog potty and cleaned my room?” “Mom, this ponytail is fuzzy in the back. Can you redo it?”

Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!

Frustration builds alongside foiled efforts. Tension in my body mounts. Their silky faces, clumsily-formed words, squeaky voices, and large, innocent eyes are shamefully inadequate to ward off the volcano preparing to blow.

What happens next is nothing short of a miraculous moment.

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Have your kids ever screamed at you in total, uncontrolled anger?

Pretty much every mom I know has had this experience – some more than others – and still, every time we experience it still feels as raw as the first time it happened.

I recently had a mother pose the situation of her eight-year-old son who was having difficulty with anger. This had moved her to ask for ways to help him. It usually happened when he didn’t get his own way.  This would cause him to lose control and even was affecting his ability to make friends.

Reflecting on her question took me back to when my kids were young, remembering how easy it was to respond to such outbursts with my own anger, especially when the outbursts continued.

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