I hate shopping with my children.

There. I said it. And I’ll say it again.

I hate shopping with my children.

There is nothing I dread more than taking my kids into a store. Any store. Grocery. Clothing. Toys. Especially toys.

It’s not that they are bad children. They are well-behaved for the most part. But at some point as we are wandering around the store the “I WANT” Monster appears.

The “I WANT” Monster is a wild little Tasmanian devil.  He comes whirling and spinning out of his cave at the first scent of anything bright and shiny and new.

“I want this.”

“Can I have that?”

“I need these.”

“Please, please buy me those.”

Everything around them is a candy-colored rainbow.  It’s sooooo tempting.

“I just can’t stand it!” panted my 7-year-old son, standing in the Star Wars aisle of Target, tortured by the clones and Jedi surrounding him.

Me either, son.

What’s with all this greed? Where does the “I WANT” Monster come from anyway?

Every child wants things. Heck, we all want things. Just today I was tempted by a really pretty china bowl with metal hummingbird on the rim and a hot pair of heels that would look perfect with a dress I have.

In a world of television and social media overload our society has pushed “keeping up with the Jones’s” to a whole new level. It’s hard to curb materialistic desires, but here are 5 techniques that can help.

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That knot in the pit of your stomach?

That hand squeezing your chest?

That voice telling you this is all going to go horribly wrong?

That is anxiety, my friends.

It’s hard enough to deal with that feeling of dread and worry in myself, but it’s heart breaking when my kids look up at me with big blue eyes full of worry and tears and tell me, “I just can’t do it, Mommy.”

Both of my boys have struggled with anxiety.  My oldest was bullied in 2^nd grade. The constant verbal assaults on him resulted in stomachaches, headaches, begging to be homeschooled, not sleeping, and going to the bathroom every 30 minutes. All are on the menu of classic symptoms of acute anxiety.

My youngest just seems to be a worrier. About once a week he comes out with some new thing to worry about. Currently his greatest worry is that he won’t make enough money from his art to support himself.  He is 6.

My kids aren’t alone in being anxious worriers. Every child experiences some anxiety. Before tests. At concert performances. The first day at a new school.

Anxiety and nervousness are normal as long as it doesn’t get in the way of their everyday lives. Once that happens it’s time to seek some professional support.

So if your child is a worrier who does not need professional intervention, how can you help them process through these moments of chest-tightening, stomach churning worry and learn to lead a calmer, happier life?

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Good game, high-5; Good game, high-5; Good game, high-5; Good game, high-5…

At 8 years old, being a good sport was about hiding your disappointment when you lost and not bragging too much when you won. It was exhibited in a line of little girls delivering hand-slaps and “good games” before running to the coolers behind the bench to claim grape sodas.

As I got older, sportsmanship became about more than losing a game without throwing a temper tantrum. It became about handling yourself, on and off the field, with style and dignity no matter what the outcome.

Now I’m a parent with a super-competitive child and sportsmanship has never been more important.

My oldest has always been highly competitive. He needs to win. He must be first. Otherwise he can get very frustrated. He has always been this way. In pre-school he used to bolt down as much food as he could and then say he was full, even though he had half his lunch left, so that he could be first to the washing up station.

This is terribly ironic considering that from the minute we decided to have children my husband and I were determined to raise our children to be non-competitive good sports.

None of this “Second place is the first loser,” or “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing,” mentality for us. We emphasized fun over winning, asking him “Did you have fun?” before we asked anything else.

Yet, here we are with a 10 year old who will do anything to win – including cheat – and cries like his heart is broken when he loses.

Nature vs. Nurture. The struggle is real, y’all.

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Ah, summer. That wonderful time of year when magic can happen.

I love summer vacation. There is swimming, sleeping in, playing with friends, and camps to attend! The possibilities for fun are endless!

Our summer, like everybody’s, starts off with a lot of excitement and the boys embrace the joy and freedom of summer vacation.

For about a week.

Then the strains of I’m booooorrrred! There’s nothing to dooooooo… come wafting through the house.

I did have suggestions for them for what to do. Oddly, neither of my boys seemed to want to do any of the chores I mentioned. (Unless it was for money.)

All I could do was roll my eyes as Henry flopped on the couch, put his hand over his eyes in imitation of a swoon worthy of Scarlet O’Hara, and repeated, “I’m booooooredddddddDDDDAH!” for what seemed like the 100th time that day.

I was ready to scream. Instead, showing great restraint, I reached out to Google and Pinterest to find some suggestions for my boys.

While I was busy doing “research”, I suddenly realized… the whining had stopped. And in its place I heard the not-so-quiet sounds of two boys busy building costumes and making up stories.

And just like that I had stumbled upon the secret of unlocking a child’s inner creative genius…

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It’s Monday morning and we have a case of the “Where’s my.”

Where’s my homework?

Where’s my soccer ball?

Where’s my library book?

Where’s my other sock?

And the answer, “Where you left it,” though satisfying to say, is not helpful.

Or so I’ve been told.

I am a firm believer that I, as the mom, should not be the one responsible for locating all my children’s things.  However, that hasn’t been the case.

Somehow, without me ever signing up for it, I became The Finder.

It wasn’t a big deal when the boys were younger. I was happy to be The Finder when they didn’t have as much to find and remember, but as the boys get older that is changing. Rapidly.

Therefore, I have been inspired to take certain steps towards relinquishing my title as The Finder.

I am not alone in my quest to get my family organized and running smoothly. There is a reason The Container Store makes over $750 million each year and Marie Kondo’s 2014 book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up was #1 on the New York Times bestseller list and has sold more than 3 million copies.

All of us fight to stay organized on a daily basis for many reasons.

Educators cite being organized as the key to academic success, especially in college.  Being organized not only leads to higher test scores, it also results in more on time assignments and lower stress.

Being organized doesn’t only help stress levels in school. A disorganized home or office has also been found to contribute to increased stress levels. Chronically high levels of stress can lead to depression, fatigue, fights, and lower productivity.

Living in disorganized chaos can also lead to fractured home lives as well. People have admitted to researchers they will choose to work late to avoid going home and into an environment of chaos. And I, for one, have occasionally felt more than a little resentful towards my family when I think I am alone in the struggle to keep the household and its members organized.

I am not doing my family or myself any favors by being The Finder and sorting through the jumbles of assignments, due dates, and appointments and making everything ready for the morning. My children need to learn how to be organized themselves.

Not just so they make it out the door to school in time, but so they can succeed throughout their lives.

So, how do I get my children to be organized?

Here are 4 things you can do to raise an organized child.

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