Do you remember that first minute when you were looking at your newborn, bleary eyed, and vow that nobody will dare mess with your child, because then they’d have to mess with you?

Then you send your daughter to school. With strangers. Adults and children you don’t know, and you hope and pray they’ll take care of your child like the treasure she is.

One day, your little one comes home with a teary face. “Someone hurt me.”

Like my daughter did. “Mommy, Gina hit me.”

According to a national survey, bullying and cyberbullying have eclipsed kidnapping as parents’ greatest fear.

Is there any wonder why? Just take a look at some of the stats. 1 in 4 children are bullied each month in the USA. Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. 160,000 kids miss school each day from fear of bullying. 1 in 10 children drops out of school due to bullying. Nearly one in three parents of children ages 12-17 agree that bullying is a more serious concern than other dangers, including domestic terrorism, car accidents, and suicide.

The only way we can change this is if we get involved. If you, and I and all of us take action, we can stop the bullying.

“I’m not in Congress, I don’t set school policy. Heck, I’m not even a teacher. I’m a worried parent who wants my child to grow up safe and strong. How do we do that?” you ask?

Here’s what to focus on:

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Han Solo may have gotten the princess and light-sabered his way to heroism, but his parenting skills didn’t win any awards.

While superheroes rushing to the rescue may bring in box office accolades, that behavior backfires for parents who want our kids to succeed in a challenging galaxy.

New York Times Parenting blogger Jessica Lahey points to research that most of our kids’ inability to deal with failure, and therefore succeed, stems from our generation’s unwillingness to step away from our kids.

Helicopter parent. Raising my hand right here. Guilty. I did once practically bribe other kids to come to my daughter’s birthday party.

To give children the skills they need to fail successfully (yes, that’s a thing), parents need less Han and more Obi-Wan – watch, listen, dialog, model. Your young jedi will thank you some day for teaching him how to deal with failure effectively using these 10 ways –

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When you think of your sweet child fending off social media pressure, does your heart nervously flutter a little?

Does the thought of these negative influences leave you hoping (praying) they’ll solidly, confidently, know themselves and the RIGHT thing to do?

Can we give them the tools to see through negative influences with superman-like laser vision?

Peer pressure is reaching new levels of influence in this digital age, where bullying can happen behind the veiled, impersonal curtain of an electronic device.

By the time our children have their first Facebook account, we hope to have instilled in them enough of a sense of self that they can objectively evaluate any peer-to-peer situation. We hope that they already have a strong foundation in communication skills, and firm grasp of their personal values. We hope that they internally know the right things to do and are confident in the courage of their convictions.

This will give them the voice required to face interpersonal challenges and the ability to stand up for themselves, and those around them.

We can help our kids develop that strong sense of positive self-image. By starting early, and with a few language tricks, we can plant deep roots from which a strong, independent, confident, sense of self will grow. [Read more…]