You know what they say about too much of a good thing?

Yeah, that’s kind of what visiting grandparents is like for us.

Every summer and winter holiday we go to the Midwest for a long visit with both sets of grandparents.

My kids love it. Which isn’t surprising at all considering how much both our parents love spoiling grandchildren.

My kids eat more ice cream in those few weeks than they do all year round. They’re allowed to stay up late. They consume more television than is humanly possible. They play all day, every day.

On one hand, it’s lovely. I love that my kids get to do this.

But it also drives me crazy.  No homework gets done. Kids are tired and cranky from missing bedtimes and getting up early. Vegetables are a distant memory.

And I end up with the unsavory task of wrestling things back to normal when we get back home.

Time at Grandma and Grandpa’s is special. It should be. I don’t want to get in the way of that.

At the same time, I don’t like how out of balance my parenting feels by the end of the trip.

So, for the past couple of years now, I’ve been trying out a few tricks to make the most of the fact that my kids have such wonderful grandparents, while at the same keeping it from straining my own relationship with my parents, or my kids.

Here are 4 things that have really helped:

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When my son was just four years old, he loved to investigate things around the house. He spent hours each day opening, spilling, touching, shuffling, dumping and tinkering. There was a lot he wanted to learn about and play with.

Sometimes he made choices which were not necessarily in line with my expectations. One time, while coloring, he broke a few magic markers open. He wanted to “catch the colors” hiding inside, he explained.

Children need time to play, tinker and discover. This is vital to growing and developing well. Very often in this playful process young children create messes and make mistakes. Having a safe home in which to make mistakes is vital to growing well. It is also important to the child that as parents we offer them guidance, limits and clear boundaries.

Children don’t really need to be told how to play or supervision that mimics a hovering helicopter. Children do however need to know that they can count on us, without a doubt, to provide them guidance and safety.

Gentle guidance or positive discipline is about honoring the needs of the child while providing safety, connection and confident leadership.

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It was a lazy Sunday afternoon.

My daughter was reading a book, I was folding laundry and there was music playing in the background.

I was humming to myself along with the music, when she looked up from her book and smiled at me. I smiled back and playfully replaced the words in the song I was humming with “I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

It was one of those silly, goofy, whim-of-the-moment things. But she beamed. Her smile could have lit up a city block. For a long while after she returned to her book, she still had the smile plastered on her face.

And I couldn’t help but think — we have literally hundreds of simple ways to show our kids how much we love them! During simple watercolor moments like these. And during the not-so-simple, definitely-not-watercolor moments as well.

So, I decided to make a list of all the different ways we can show our kids our unconditional love for them… during the times everything is nice and beautiful. And during those other times when things aren’t going quite as well.

Check it out –

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For about a year now, I’ve worked with many of you to put together a beautiful, custom-designed, parent-child journal. It is time now for the big unveiling…

The “Executive Summary” Version

And all this while requiring just a few minutes of your time, and done at whatever pace that works for your family’s schedule.

Got elementary school-aged kids? Then you don’t want to miss this!

What Makes the Connected Hearts Journal So Special?

You can walk into any bookstore and pick up a journal. So what makes this journal special? (And why should you absolutely get one for your kids? 🙂 )

The devil is in the details. And we have spared no effort. [Read more…]

So, on this site we talk a lot about being connected parents.

About guiding and supporting our kids in their journey through childhood, so they can grow up to be fantastic human beings.

Today though I want to take a step back and look specifically at those instances when we need to get out of the way so we can be better parents.

It was amazing how many situations I could come up with once I got thinking!

We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s dive right in –

#1 When Your Lid Is About To Blow

Let’s just start off with a bang.

Sometimes there are instances when we can get angry in a controlled manner.

And then, there are those when all sanity has left the building, and we simply want to scream, rant and rave not caring a hoot to what destruction it leaves in its wake.

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